i still feel like i'm 17 yrs old and that my mom just died. i don't feel like i grew from that event. i love every nicholas sparks movie because my mom and i loved nicholas sparks. the last movie we saw in the theaters together was the notebook. i wanna be with her so bad. i just feel like i can't grow up for her or the rest of my family, partly ( Read more... )

i love the nanny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHObm4-hNgI

once truly an angel, always an angel. it's just, i don't feel strong about my mom being dead when i think about change. i wanted to change with her. those were my plans for the future. i wanted nothing more than to be woman and mother. i could've taken her to her doctor's appointments if she let me drive at age 16. i wouldn't have been that ( Read more... )

i have keen intuition.

i could have settled down with michael, but i hardly knew him. he liked me a lot... i thought he was very cute and sweet. instant husband material. i hope i find someone i end up being in love with because i want to have kids soon, you know? I WANT TO HAVE A GIRL SO BAD, but a boy would do too. an innocent sweetheart to fill my life with. i have ( Read more... )

i can't believe i'm already twenty-two years old.
today was better than most days, definetly.

i know that god is with me. maybe i should stick with him and not be so damn suicidal.

this is my sixth suicide attempt since 2008. it's because i have anxiety from my mom passing away. this time it was with soma but my stomach couldn't handle not even 20 somas because of one of my other suicide attempts that involved unisom. would have been successful if i wasn't found unconscious. my stomach just can't handle it anymore. i want to ( Read more... )

stupid angel,
was happy and free
before she was too naive
and that is what she'll miss about it most
stupid angel----
she'll miss what she never had.

oldurgem kendimi, valla. da fasla dayanam annesiz olmak, kalmak. ozlemekten daha buyuk bu depresin---