It's 9/11, one of the hardest days for me to write about without sounding like a complete asshole ( Read more... )

Being married for 16 years is some weird shit. I've noticed that I go through cycles once every couple of years when I seriously question if I still want to keep doing this, and may have deep moments of doubt, but I always come through it recommitted to my marriage ( Read more... )

Because I can tell from referrer logs that a few people are coming from the comments of an old entry in which I posted the link to my new blog, I'll make it easier and post it here ( Read more... )

I am not good at keeping things a secret, hence why I write a blog. When J recently asked me to keep something secret, I agreed, even though I knew it would be difficult. As a result I was far more silent than usual online the past few days, because I desperately wanted to say something and knew I couldn't ( Read more... )

My anxiety level has been pretty high, as I mentioned. I was freaking out pretty hard and finally decided I would go to the perpetual adoration chapel. It's basically no church service at all, you just sit there in silence. It was my first time doing it but I thought it might help and it did. I sat there for over an hour, mostly just crying, but I ( Read more... )

So I started a new blog and am trying to write more often over there ( Read more... )

Today has been a good lesson in two things: everything will be okay if I can just chill, and if I try to act in opposition to how I really feel, I will freak out ( Read more... )

I'm trying to control everything and cannot, and it is making me panicky to leave it up to God or fate or what-have-you ( Read more... )

Well, I think I need a Plan B. I decided that I would try to ramp up my freelance writing income so that I could quit my job. Not earning money is not going to be an option, and at the bare minimum I have to be able to continue making my car payments (though also making my student loan payments is also important, and anything else is helpful ( Read more... )

After much discussion with J, I think we may have decided to stay here and change how we do things ( Read more... )