my hair will be grey by the end of the week with all this going on right now. and i've been keeping it all in. lets see. crush on a teacher (he's married). crush on an old friend (he's taken). crush on my ex's friend (i don't trust anyone). cussing you out. telling you what's on my mind, even if you don't like it. i'll be the smart one. since your ( Read more... )

whore. the word lingers in my head as if it's supposed to hold some good meaning. and i laugh. he had to get me drunk to have sex with me the first time. and i was not the one that cheated. yes. not just making out. but having sex with someone else. whore. and i laugh. so what the fuck does that make him? fucking cunt bag. and he has a girlfriend. ( Read more... )

i'm fucking miserable without you. i've been hiding it quite well. if she only knew. sometimes i wish you never fucking told me. cause then i could sleep at night. i'll just keep telling myself you lied. so i can hate you. that's what you want isn't it? if she only knew. but i'll look like the fucking pyshco for now. that's what you want, isn't it ( Read more... )

these songs play over and over in my head that make life all worth while. as i watch you die in every word that comes out of these speakers. it's my healing process. and you'll be completely earsed. okay. maybe i'm lying just a little bit, cause you can never earse anything completely. so concider yourself lucky. i'm more awake then i've ever been ( Read more... )

i'm suriving [just barely surviving]. it feels like forever. but i'm doing alright. and i know that you never really loved me; you told me so yourself. whether i believe you or not, that's a different story. and this battle with myself has finally ended. this spark has turned into a raging fire and i'm glad i finally realize the truth between all ( Read more... )

so any day now i should be able to breathe. without the feeling of intoxication. the past few weeks have been interesting. i finally gave up someone i could no longer stand. i wasn't fooled by lies and misfortune from a little boy. and i've realized who my true friends are. and i love them more then life. i'm kind of feeling okay. dentist. ( Read more... )

he treats me like shit. he takes me for granted. he says things he doesn't mean. and i can't take anymore. i've taken alot. more then most people. it's tough to think of life without him. but he's fine without me. so there's my answer.

it's funny how the one person you never stopped caring about or being there for can completely turn their back on you, when they find temporary happiness with someone else. i've never done anything in this world to deserve half the shit you've given to me. and it's shown through your disrespect. you don't even realize that one day, i'm realllllly ( Read more... )

you don't know what you have until it's gone. 
you don't know how good it is until it isn't there. 
none of this shit will matter.
you'll spend your whole life trying to get it back.
trying to find someone just as good.
but once it's gone, it's gone.

the stars must have been out last night. and i got lucky. i saw you for the first time in months, and i couldn't breathe. a best friend by my side to help me ease the nervousness. it was supposed to be the other way around. i looked ugly. i felt gross. i let you see me like that anyways. it was like old times, only not so at ease. i couldn't stop ( Read more... )