and it's hard to watch so many people i care about fuck themselves up. i feel so sorry for them. but i have not given into the whole cocaine phase. it'll never be me. i wish i could save everyone, but most people don't even listen because their too hooked. and i'm too late. denial of addiction. it's depressing. and maybe i shouldn't care about ( Read more... )

and for the first time in a few weeks i haven't thought about you that much. it's such a nice feeling. but i hear that song; it reminds me of you. and i think of the pictures i never got to take with you. i'll never get to take. and i don't know how i can let you go. it's impossible. i live. but barely. thinking of how you might even be holding her ( Read more... )

i don't know what to do. im sitting at this computer, replaying everything that just went down. and i'm gone. i gave you away. and you left, just like that. and it was a clear indication that maybe i was wrong about us. about marriage. about love. about you. and maybe your just too love sick right now to see that you've lost me. but God believe me ( Read more... )

i don't believe you. your not in the right place in your life. for me. but for her. you've got it all figured out. fuckin' bullshit. you supposively love her too. and i've realized that i can't wait anymore. i've waited long enough for you to figure your shit out. you made your choice. so after the show. it's my first real attempt to move on. i can ( Read more... )

i do too much for people so undeserving. he didn't even apperciate that i was helping him out. of course, it was about HIM. and it's really pathetic ( Read more... )

why did you have to come into my life out of no where? i'm waiting. i was doing just fine thinking about you from time to time. now your all that fills my mind. why do you love someone else? it hurts me. why have i waited? why do i still wait? it's love. and maybe it's easier for you because you have someone else. but i'm just waiting. i remember ( Read more... )

so my brother convinced me of a lot of things. damnit. i didn't even think about all of this shit he was saying. and sadly he's right. when my bro was down here last, he found out a lot from friends. and i quote "i don't want a fucking coke head in our family". i guess i understand. ya know? and he's right. but i don't know if it's true. i know he' ( Read more... )

i am exstatic. if that's even the word. i'll cry of happiness, knowing that the past 4 years, and almost 5, haven't been a waste of feelings. and i wasn't the only one who believed so highly in us. but he does too. i've always known in my heart that we would be together. whether it was 5 years from now, 10 years from now, i've always, always known ( Read more... )

this is bad. and i'm about to break down, now realizing that i need a man in my life to feel happy. i'm not satisfied without one. i never thought i could be one of those people that can't live without the opposite sex, even as friends, but i am. lately, i have not had one boy in my life, as more then a friend, and it's driving me crazy. i've had ( Read more... )

it's like it never even ended. and you looked so cute. the stars were out. and i pictured you like i first met you. sweet. infatuation. maybe. and glitter on your face, reminded me of the night we met. it's how it started. and i wanted to fall all over again. with time. with time, i told myself. i question everything you say, but kissing you; i ( Read more... )