I am too tired to write this. I need sleep. But if I go to sleep now, I'll still have to write this later. It may be for the better, since my LJ entries turn out differently depending on the amount of sleep I've had. Most of my entries have been written at 3 AM, but recently they've been written more during the day. So, will writing an entry at 9 ( Read more... )

Soooooooooo. I have such and such to talk about. But if I don't begin this LJ entry with nonsensical rambling, people won't look at my entries the same way. Plus, with all the stuff I'll be detailing in this entry, I need to have a bit of rambling to back the entry up in case the entry turns to a block of cheese. I cannot allow that! It won't ( Read more... )

Hey look. It's Friday night. Speak, speak, Friday night! No! Don't go there! OH. You've hit the next dayYOUIDIOT! The sunlight comes! Scream ( Read more... )

Oh! Oh, oh, oh! LOOK. AN UPDATE. But, but... WHY?!@~ NO INSANITY?! NO NONSENSE!? NO. THAT HAS BEEN LEFT IN THE RIGHT. Also, people that eat hamburgers with mayonnaise are terrorists. I think we can solve the terrorist problem by destroying mayonnaise. Except mayonnaise is good, so we can forget about terrorism ( Read more... )

That is, E3... Final Entry. Day 4! Get your gas masks out. Seven year old Billy caught E3FE-D4. He giggled himself to death after blowing his hand off with explosives. Errr, I mean, he coughed, choked and ran through a window. It is unknown why he ran through the glass, but he explained that he was being chased by a Cow. Scientists say that E3FE-D4 ( Read more... )

I'm guessing that moose feathers come from a race of moose that have feathers. But that's just a guess. I mean, if you think about it, moose feathers CAN come from geese that are thought to be squids. Why would anybody think geese are squids? Because during the squid war of 4058, a goose took a time machine, activated it and nothing happened. Then ( Read more... )

The purpose of stepping on half melted blocks of cheese was to prepare you for [explanation]. The reason for the explanation censor is that a rabid Ostrich is holding an exploding chicken to my right temple and has plenty more ready to detonate, so, please, don't explain anything. For the sake of10GALLONSOFBLOOD&FEATHERSSPLATTERFROMEXPLODINGCHICKEN ( Read more... )

Due to an unfortunate incident at the neighborhood nuclear power plant, the squad of exploding chickens were late and will have to be tossed in this entry thoughtlessly. Pardon the unfunnies ( Read more... )

Whether or not clown soup really exists isn't of my concern. And if you drop yours, its completely your own fault. I am not responsible for lost cans of clown soup. If you have dropped your can of clown soup, contact the local authorities immediately ( Read more... )