So, I was masturbating yesterday. Yes, this entire story is about jerking off, if you feel like saving yourself some time.

So, anyway, I was down to business as I usually am, looking for that particular video or photograph that hits me just so, when I came across the video I was sure would do the trick. A woman, with the horrendously sexy name ( Read more... )

Mass effect is a great game. I'm sure youve heard it a bunch already, if youve heard about Mass Effect at all. I cannot express what a satisfying game experience it provided, even if it is impossible at some points ( Read more... )

You know, the fact that I havent updated in about 3 weeks probably send a message to the few left who pay any attention to livejournal. The message of course, being that I totally made some idiotic rant about wanting to breathe life into this journal again, and then went off to play video games because writing is for suckers. While both of those ( Read more... )

This is a story I tell to alot of my friends that I spend non-internet time with, and in my opinion is the closest I get to a perfect story. Not because it is the height of comedy or a flawless beacon of intelligence, but because it speaks to my personality in such a unique way that if this story causes you to laugh instead of close the page in ( Read more... )

The big difference is that now, no ones reading this ( Read more... )

I decided to post this one here, too. In addition to being a bulletin, this is a story Ive decided to tell and keep, even though its decently picture-reliant and more than a little gross. I think its funny, but most of those left over reading this might just consider it unerasable from the brain. Who knows ( Read more... )

I should mention that for the most part, I have stopped updating this journal. Unless a story comes along that I feel I would want to read again, like this one. Ive got that feeling that next to noone reads this more, so anything funny and anectdotal I just throw up as a bullettin on My myspace. I almost consider it the new livejournal, since ( Read more... )

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This is probably the best video clip ive seen in a long time, because it amuses me to no end. Here are some lines to look out for.

"I like how you guys are like standing there alllll by yourself!"YOU ARE IN LINE TO SEE A MOVIE ( Read more... )

To put a light note on my last post, after I was done typing that, and the one to the FFXI community, I, well--to put it technically, I moved my bowels.

To put it accurately, I created a monster. It defied the flushing hole, showing its strength as it reached across the bowl like a Tendo Ice bridge.

I barely defeated it with my hands clean.