I find this article from The Onion's AV Club terribly depressing and I truly feel for John Travolta.

However, before I read the article, my Google Reader feed previewed it to me thusly.

... and, good Lord, it was gruelling. Three hours, that movie is. Three fucking hours. Also, the every-Thursday-thing isn't working, so, just, when I can.
( The Cut )

Yes, almost. I didn't even quite make it to the halfway point of this festering, herpetic pustule of a film. Lindsay Lohan plays two girls and a lot of retarded shit happens, so it's a lot like The Parent Trap 2: Horrific Clusterfuck of Awfulness Boogaloo. Highlighted notes below, full deal (for the first fifty minutes) available upon request.
( The Cut )

Happy birthday, Indiana Jones, Jean-Luc Picard, and Chet Pussy.

No, not the Greek god of the seas, but rather the unnecessary remake of the 1972 disaster classic The Poseidon Adventure. Much as when I watched Next, I took notes. The best ones are below the cut; the full version available upon request.

( The Cut )

I just saw an ad for a tampon that works for eight hours "even at night". Obviously, the Period is a monster I don't have much experience with (since History Channel has yet to air a MonsterQuest about it), but is there some sort of nocturnal quality to the Period that would render a tampon useless? Do you have to use silver tampons to keep the ( Read more... )

No, not the shitty MTV dating show, but rather the shitty Nicolas Cage film you didn't realize had come out two years ago. The Fat, Dumb Mick suggested I take notes with a time index, voicing my thoughts and observations about the film. I did, and the results are below the cut. The film wasn't as juicy as I anticipated. It doesn't have the camp ( Read more... )

Today I've had two instances of people in allegedly high places - or at least assuming their own position of power - brought low, and neither of them was Mark Sanford. For the first, I was watching TV and someone mentioned how some vacuous skanks out of Jersey made her want to be in Salem in the 1800s. The crowd laughed and she said something to ( Read more... )

I'm sitting in the Hendrix Center, which isn't the Student Union, but really is. It's orientation time and I'm watching all these incoming freshmen running around, talking about where they're from and making friends and registering and eating ice cream. I'm sitting here wearing clothes I plucked from my bedroom floor with the stroppy beginnings ( Read more... )

I recently discovered (as a side-effect of getting a couch) that I have basic cable. This afternoon, I was watching a relatively-new Batman cartoon called Batman: The Brave and the Bold. It's not bad, but it goes from having ridiculous moments (Batman telling a curvaceous woman with a thuggish man's face and five o'clock shadow that the hammer of ( Read more... )