"Act Five: The Startling Grand Finale Or The STARTLING GRAND Finale ( Read more... )

"Act Four: Fighting A Djinn Is Hard. Or, Fighting A Djinn Is Lame ( Read more... )

We interupt the telling of this epic tale to bring you something that pisses me off to no end. First off, any hardcore, Indigo Girls style feminists who may be reading this, STOP! You'll probably take offence at something that isn't really that offensive and get all pissy. Calm down and go back to Lilith Fair where somebody cares about your opinion ( Read more... )

"Act Three: The Wrath Of The VD Infested, Scum Sucking, Slimy, Cunt Bag Queen Who Loved Me. Or Revalations ( Read more... )

"Act Two: The Quest For The Jade Djinn Lamp ( Read more... )

For years I've promised you a Jade Runestone. And have I delivered it to you slut tards? Hell fuckin' no. But this is it! The Big Adventure to end all Big Adventures ( Read more... )

Goin' into bathrooms, listenin' to bitches, that's just what I dooooooooo! It's been a good long time since I wormed my way around the scummy depths of our fair city's restrooms. BUT THE TIME IS NIGH!!! This time I decided to change it up though. We all know that the women in this city are nuts, but what about the men? So I grabbed my tape recorder ( Read more... )

Schools in session you shit ropes. It's time for yet another quiz. So prepare your brains as I probe them with a series of questions specifically designed to convert the sane. It will be like spending a day with Margot Kidder and Anne Heche. Ready? Let's begin ( Read more... )

Complete hard drive failure. That's what they call the disease I have that convinced my feeble brain to purchase a fucking HP Pavillion laptop. It's also, coincidentally, what happens to an HP Pavillion laptop after a mere six months. Anyway, that's the reason for my not posting for a while. But like a rotten case of herpes, I'm back bitches and I ( Read more... )

Okay bitch you wanna play a game? A game of chance perhaps? Here's the deal, I shall tell you two stories. Both pertain to the same event but only one is actually true. If you can guess which is the true tale of woe you win a date with me and my cat. Or if you want just the cat. We will all go to Petco and buy fish. Black mollies to be exact. You ( Read more... )