[Sakumoto Fic]: Thunderstorms and Tempest FINAL Cloud 10.1: Pot Of Gold At The End Of The Rainbow
Pairing: Sakumoto, cameos from other members
Rating: PG
Word Count: 5,606 words
Genre: Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: Purely a figment of my imagination; the fic, that is. Not them, of course. :)
Summary: Sho has his memories back, though how is still unknown. Tempers have run amok. How can all be resolved for a happy Sakumoto ending?
A/N: The last chapter in this fic. Apologies for the WAY too long wait for the final part, as well as for the split parts cos LJ keeps telling me I have error whenever each chapter hits around 3000+ words. J As always, comments are love ©.
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[ Prologue] | [ Chapter 1] | [ Chapter 2.1] | [ Chapter 2.2] | [ Chapter 3] | [ Chapter 4.1] | [ Chapter 4.2] | [ Chapter 5.1] | [ Chapter 5.2] | [ Chapter 6.1] | [ Chapter 6.2] | [ Chapter 6.3] | [ Chapter 7.1] | [ Chapter 7.2] | [ Chapter 8] | [ Chapter 9.1] | [ Chapter 9.2]
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[Late November 2010; Kinosaki’s Yamamoto ryokan]
It was the melody of “5x10” that drew him out of the mists of slumber. Stifling the yawn that sought to steal his warmth, Sho burrowed further into the heated softness that had formed a cocoon around him. His mind was still in a haze, but stretching his arms to push further along under the sheets only brought the realization that the other side of the futon had been empty, and had been for some time if the chill of the cottony smoothness was anything to go by.
Pulling off the topmost sheet to wrap around himself, he noiselessly padded across the tatami-lined floor towards the sliding doors still rubbing sleep from his eyes. The wooden contraption opened easily and quietly as he pulled on one panel. The morning view that lay beyond the just-beginning-to-frost glass caused Sho to pull on a breath in wonder. On either side of the canal facing where he stood, the narrow thin blades of still-green willow swayed in time to the wind, trapped in a frantic dance that held them in place as they twisted to and fro. Yet, to him, their beauty and elegance paled in comparison to the lithe body curled up on the armchair before him. Propping one shoulder on the opened sliding door separating the balcony from the ryokan’s main room, Jun had obviously not noticed the man standing behind him.
Watching as nimble fingers quietly tapped upon the keys of the handphone, Sho was still trying to wrap his brain around how the two of them had come so far in the few months since he’d recovered his memories, as well as how close he’d come to never having this.
That first moment when he’d opened his eyes to see Jun resting heavily on Ohno’s shoulders, the feline-bodied man had seemed to be overcome with some emotional burden, and Sho had not been sure what to feel. Lost as he was without his recollections, he’d wondered at the pain the taller man had projected, his body trembling despite how tight the shorter man had been holding onto him. Sho had felt strangely glad that the shivering man had someone he could lean on for support. However, it had been a feeling that unexpectedly gave way to his own mixed feelings as he relearned his relationship with the other four.
With his busy schedule, Jun had not been around regularly but that had not meant Sho learnt any less about the youngest member. Jun had probably thought Sho unaware of the constant updates the hospital staff had been instructed to provide to the attentive-to-the-last-detail member, but he’d accidentally overheard two nurses talking. Sho had been napping one afternoon, but had faked unconsciousness when, a little excitable and obviously Arashi fans, two twenty-something nurses entered to neaten up his room. Not wanting to surprise or embarrass them if they realized he had been awakened by their conversation, he had held his tongue. As it turned out, the surprise was on him as he learned more about the member who, until then, he had considered to be a little more aloof than the rest. He ended up being privy to the nurses gushing about how they wished they had someone as attentive, as concerned to know every detail of this patient’s progress despite a heavy work schedule. Sho had of course recalled how detail-oriented Jun was from their years together, but to know that he had been singled out for that same attention had led to an unaccountable flutter in the older man’s stomach. Since then, he’d found himself pondering what else he might have forgotten about their youngest member, and to try to observe Jun a little more closely when he turned up for his ‘babysitting’ shifts. Observations that he’d initially justified as wanting to know more about his seemingly enigmatic member soon turned in something more. Something that morphed into relief, yet curiously mingled with disappointment, when Jun had revealed that there was someone who held a place in his thoughts. Something that increasingly triggered the ugly, green-eyed monster inside him whenever he imagined moments of Jun and Ohno together. Something that would have forever remained buried had they not found a way out of the labyrinth of misunderstanding that had been of their own making.
Suppressing the shiver that had nothing to do with the cold air, Sho wrapped the sheet a little tighter around his shoulders. Bending over to twine his arms around Jun’s shoulders so as not to cause the other to startle, he pressed his lips to the shell of Jun’s ear, something he had learned recently as one of the man’s more erogenous zones.
Jun could not repress a deep-throated hum as Sho’s lips continued to lick a smile into the lobe.
Sho’s voice was almost velvety as he gave voice to the words. “Hey there stranger.”
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[Mid-June 2010; Sakurai residence]
“So I think we need to talk.”
Talking may have been well and good, but Jun felt like it was a stranger facing him.
The exit of the others seemed to have taken the wind out of Sho’s sail. He watched as Sho sank into the chair, staring at the uncleared dishes and half-emptied glasses on the table.
“You’ve wrong about Aiba and Nino you know.” It was hard to keep the sombre note of reproach out of his voice. Of the five of them, Nino and Aiba had been the ones who had spent the most time visiting Sho; it couldn’t have been easy to face the accusations that Sho had flung at them, and even less so considering that the man had actually gotten his memories back.
“Well, Masaki shouldn’t have been gloating so blatantly. And how was I supposed to know that Nino and Ohno were an item? I thought Ohno was wi-with… you.” The last was stammered as Sho lifted his eyes to Jun, his gaze quickly skittering away when he realized he was being watched.
“And if that WAS the case, what is it to you?” Jun’s voice belied no emotion.
Sho’s head came up in shock as he finally moved off the chair. “What? But I thought Ohno just said…” His words were clipped as his brows came into a harsh V above his already flared nose. “Are YOU in love with Ohno? You are, aren’t you? Of course! How could I be so blind? Of course you’ve moved on…” Sho’s agitation fell into indistinct mutters as he seemed to forget that he had an audience.
“And that’s so bad? That I shouldn’t have such feelings?” Jun could feel his ire rising. He should really just have said that there was nothing between Ohno and himself, but there was that bitter sting of irritation he felt at Sho’s reaction to Ohno and Nino and his own supposed involvement; it was pretty ironic then that he wanted to force Sho to be honest about these past weeks. An amnesiac Sho might have been given the benefit of the doubt, but a fully cognizant Sho was turning out to be an unreasonable creature who lacked his normally dependable common sense. And to make matters worse, Sho had pretended to have no recall of the past three years
“That’s not what I meant! I-” Sho raked frustrated hands through his hair, grasping so firmly with his eyes screwed shut that it looked like he was fighting an internal battle to grasp at words just out of his reach. Or maybe it was just to stop himself from grabbing and shaking some sense into Jun.
“Jun, you’re just going to get hurt further if you don’t walk away from what you’re feeling for Ohno.” Sho’s voice sounded oddly guarded to Jun’s ears. “You don’t… want to go through such… one-sided feelings.”
“And you would be SUCH an expert to say so?” Jun lashed out even as Sho took a half-step back. As if the outrage from the fantastical ‘love triangle’ wasn’t enough to contend with, his own emotions from the misunderstanding from before the accident were creeping in unbidden, and this was hardly the time to bring in more unwanted baggage.
“I… just don’t want you to be hurt.” Sho’s struggle to find the right words should not send a pang through him.
“Like you were so thoughtful with your kind words this evening.”
“Look, I was… confused… and angry.”
“About a relationship YOU perceived in your mind!” Jun retorted, feeling his temper waver at the sudden uncertain look that appeared in Sho’s stare. “You could have just asked you know.” His words a little more subdued, unwilling to give in to Sho’s irrationality, yet loath to bring them to the point of no return.
“Like how I asked you about my dream?” Sho’s level tone was like an ice-cube dropped down the back of Jun’s back. “Even before my memories came back… my anger wasn’t only about Ohno and Nino, you know.”
“It WAS just a dream. It’s not like I lied. Not like I said it happened.” It was not the feeling of being cornered that caused a hitch in Jun’s voice as he remembered all too well the horrid feeling of that day all over again.
“You were the one who said our… what we had... wasn’t real!”
“I didn’t know how you would handle something that you couldn’t recall. And- I meant the dream you had! Not us!” Even as the word left his lips, Jun felt his cheeks burn. The words had hit too close to home about how he viewed Sho. How he would have liked to view Sho.
Sho had been glaring daggers as Jun spoke, his breaths sounding all too loud, rhythm too similar to the thump-thump-thumping in Jun’s chest.
Jun knew the moment of truth came with Sho’s next words.
“I just felt like… there was something else you were not telling me.”
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[Late November 2010; Kinosaki town]
“What is it? I can tell that you’re hiding something.” Jun’s voice was cajoling, knocking his shoulder playfully into Sho, but the older man refused to budge. “Surely you can tell me what our plans are for today, Sho-kun.”
They’d just finished a hearty traditional breakfast at the inn and despite the low temperatures forecasted for the day, he’d made his plans all too carefully, and he wasn’t going to let Jun sweet-talk him into revealing what they were. He wanted Jun to be blown away by what he had planned, to sweep him off his feet just like the princess that Nino always teased him to be.
With a narrowing of his eyes when Sho refused to divulge further details of their destination, Jun pretended to walk off in a huff. Smiling at the childish behaviour that Jun only exhibited when they had the privilege of privacy, Sho chuckled a little to himself.
Yet, it was still with unnerving whenever Sho thought about how his own ventures into planning a vacation had been one of his near-breaking points almost half a year ago. The day he had told Jun about his dream, the day Jun had left his place in a near panic, Sho had been miffed. Ticked off to the extreme at Jun’s Jekyll-and-Hyde behaviour that had made no sense when the latter been all too ready to offer comfort just before. He had bristled as warring emotions fought an unceasing battle within. Thoughts like ‘He’s a ‘fickle-minded self-centred prima donna who doesn’t deserve further thought’ and ‘Who am I to care if he blows hot and cold?’ had soon given way to ‘He’s too preoccupied with something that’s obviously bothering him’ and ‘Why won’t he tell me what’s going on when his eyes seem so troubled?’. Sho had found himself growing maudlin as he grew increasingly concerned over Jun’s off-colour condition.
Desperate for a distraction, he had returned to the floral websites that had easily made the never-ending dreary hours disappear during his hospitalization (he’d been almost fanatical in matching the members to flowers, even though that eventually couldn’t hold his attention too). Driven by a force that he had refused to put a name to, he had spent hours seeking herbal remedies for ailments (hey, it was just a coincidence if most were nasal-related afflictions okay?). However, Sho’s online investigation had been interrupted, his interest piqued by a magazine interview from 2009, the contents of which detailed how Jun had clearly proclaimed his disinterest in planning for vacations. However, it hadn’t been long before a full-on declaration of war on consciousness came in the form of a steadily worsening headache, the likes of which he had not seen since his early days of hospitalization. The information had barely registered before Sho had had to surrender to sleep or take a chance of faceplanting upon his laptop.
Waking up the next morning had given him no respite from the aggravation that was Jun. More lucid at least, Sho had still been bemoaning Jun’s pigheadedness over his cold that should normally only have struck during the hayfever season. Really, Jun should know best that his ailment would be easily taken care of by the meds that Sho knew the other man always carried around.
Just like the ones Jun had insisted on foisting off onto Sho.
On the day of the accident.
The sudden hollowness that had echoed through Sho’s mind simultaneously felt as if a burden had been lifted off his shoulders, yet a thousand-tonne weight had been dropped on him. Whatever had been blocking his recall had simply disappeared, and it was akin to seeing all the way through to the bottom of a shallow pond on a bright sunny day. Not that he was going to look a gift horse in the mouth, but he was more concerned about what he could now recall, rather than WHY.
Overwhelmed by the return of the last three years’ happenings, as well as simmering acrimony over Jun and other recent developments, Sho had no idea how to break it to the other members when he had no inkling of how he had wanted to deal with what he had truthfully thought then was a budding relationship between Jun and Ohno. While it had seemed in conflict with Jun’s personality to switch his affections so capriciously, his self-doubt had convinced himself that Jun was probably happier with the oldest member.
His invitation to celebrate Nino’s birthday early had been a convenient occasion upon which he had hoped to announce the return of his memories, yet it had turned out to be anything but a call for celebration.
His nervous anticipation of presenting the happy news had turned into dawning horror at Aiba’s unwitting revelation of a relationship between Ohno and Nino, at what he had thought was Nino’s blatant disregard of Jun’s feelings after having ‘stolen’ his boyfriend. All of which had just added fuel to his already volatile fire. And all these even without his jumbled memories where the group’s youngest had been concerned.
What had been the final straw was Jun’s quiet concurrence to Nino’s every suggestion on the pending ‘vacation’. It had almost made him blow a fuse, hovering just on the brink of calling Jun’s bluff.
But that was all behind them now. Petty accusations and fiery words thrown about that night still rang in his ears; the words that had been held back for months were like a geyser that had crusted over with disuse. Like the breaking of the hardened layers, all that had been unsaid had gushed into the open. The words had stung Sho in the beginning with the initial rush of unbridled emotions; the anger, resentment and hurt tempering themselves as he had attempted to look past the emotions and make sense of what Jun had said. He had hoped that the more-mellowed expressions on Jun’s face by the end of the evening also signalled the same for the youngest.
Still, Sho was too realistic to believe that everything would have been resolved that night. Yet, there had been a tentative truce of sorts; Sho understood the impact on their professional status, and he was sure Jun did too. Outside of work, however, it was a whole different story.
The emotional angsty vibes that he had gotten from Jun before had all but disappeared; that night, Sho may have finally been transparent about his recovery from amnesia, but it was not as if Jun had been upfront about why he had been upset with Sho in the time leading up to the car accident. To be fair, the occasion didn’t warrant full disclosure, but enough time had passed that Sho thought Jun would have brought it up to him for discussion and to clear the air once and for all. Conversely, it was as if Jun had simply decided that Sho’s explanations about his amnesia had closed the book on any misunderstandings between the two of them.
One might have said that Sho was a coward, that he could have brought up the issue himself, but he treasured the calm and peace between the two of them. So that was how things stood for a time, and if anyone had asked Sho then whether that he had known back then that things would have been more than okay with Jun, Sho could not have honestly answered in the affirmative.
Heaving a sigh that the worst in their relationship was thankfully past, Sho caught up to the distance Jun had managed to put between them during his internal reflection. He threw a sly grin at the younger man who had now taken to throwing slit-eyed looks at him to force his hand. Sho dug his hands deeper into the pockets of his warm coat and walked past Jun, his steps taking him towards the stone bridge that connected to the onsen town’s central hub. A put-out huff sounded behind him, but the rapid crunch of pebbles as Jun now fought to catch up to him assured him that the younger one would not hold the grudge for long.
“Come on. I know the perfect remedy to ease all of our tension and body aches accumulated from last week’s marathon variety show filming.” Sho was not beyond pulling a guilt trip on Jun, tactfully reminding how Johnny-san had put him through the grinder once news had spread of Sho’s full recovery.
“I thought we could do that perfectly fine without leaving the room.” Sho did not need to look at Jun to know that the latter had perfected his innocent expression from spending too much time with Nino.
“I like how your mind works,” Sho admitted almost woefully, “but I DID make special arrangements for us. Let’s not let my efforts go to waste?”
“Such a goody-two-shoes. How have you survived these few days without your planner perpetually by your side?”
“Well, I have you.” Sho purposely caught Jun’s eyes as he said this, delighting in the colouring of Jun’s cheeks that could not be solely attributed to the chilly wind. Sho entwined his fingers with Jun’s before tucking them into his pocket again to add warmth to Jun’s chilled extremities.
“And... in answer to your question about where we’re heading,” Jun visibly perked up again as Sho smilingly tried to restrain the excitement filling Jun’s eyes, “You’re just going to have to trust me. You trust me right, Jun?”
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Click here for Cloud 10.2