[Sakumoto Fic]: Thunderstorms and Tempest FINAL Cloud 10.2: Pot Of Gold At The End Of The Rainbow
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[ Prologue] | [ Chapter 1] | [ Chapter 2.1] | [ Chapter 2.2] | [ Chapter 3] | [ Chapter 4.1] | [ Chapter 4.2] | [ Chapter 5.1] | [ Chapter 5.2] | [ Chapter 6.1] | [ Chapter 6.2] | [ Chapter 6.3] | [ Chapter 7.1] | [ Chapter 7.2] | [ Chapter 8] | [ Chapter 9.1] | [ Chapter 9.2]
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Cloud 10.1 here
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[Mid-July 2010; Tokyo yakiniku diner]
“You know I’d never willingly betrayed your trust right?”
Jun’s hackles raised warningly when Nino smoothly slid into the seat beside him with the ominous words. The fingers never stopped fiddling with the stack of cards in his hands even as Nino uncharacteristically hemmed and hawed through his next words.
“I kind of... could have... sort of... might’ve... accidentally said something to Sho-chan.”
Jun’s eyebrows could not climb any higher at the ambiguity of Nino’s words. Even as the garbled words finally made their way out of Nino, the implication came through loud and clear for Jun. And it should have registered in Jun’s brain the need to draw breath when he felt increasingly lightheaded.
It was the first meal since Nino’s ‘explosive’ birthday dinner that the five had gathered. It was a non-descript restaurant in a quieter part of Tokyo that Nagase-san had recommended for “absolutely mouth-watering yakiniku in absolute privacy”, and Ohno had been able to, in his simplistically no-other-alternative-but-a-yes-will-be-accepted manner, gather all for a post-meeting dinner. Things had started out well enough: apologies were made before the meal, with Aiba practically brushing the whole incident off as a ‘good thing’ since everyone was now happy with one another. Unfortunately, it was a happiness that had lasted only until Nino’s quiet admission to him that he had unintentionally mentioned to Sho about the quarrel on the last Shukudai filming, as well as his own suspicions about what had transpired and the possible cause (though Jun would rather die before he confirmed for Nino how accurate he’d been to have guessed about Horikita Maki).
Which probably explained why Sho had been unable to look away from Jun for the past twenty minutes. In fact, Sho looked torn as to whether he wanted to approach to seek a private audience with the youngest, or to just enjoy the evening’s atmosphere.
“I’m going to throw up if anyone is going to ask me if I would like to have another sesame-slathered dango.” Jun was momentarily distracted by a satisfied Aiba sighing in contentment, his eyes all ready to droop after the extravagant meal the five had wolved down.
“Guess that just leaves the bill to be settled then.” Nino threw a loaded look at the one who had stuffed himself the most, however Aiba seemed not to catch his drift. Grabbing the bill, Jun made his way to the cashier’s counter where he would pay the meal... And the rest would surely understand how tired he was if he’d make an early departure afterall.
The steps that followed soon after he’d closed the door to their private dining room was NOT what caused him to pick up his pace. And no, there was no other reason than the logical one for why he’d ducked into the gents. After the sound of the rapid steps had faded away, Jun gave another ten minutes to assure himself that he’d get home without detection, that he’d get the opportunity to rest and figure out how to deal with the fallout from Nino’s conversation with Sho.
He’d been all prepared to let sleeping dogs lie, and so apparently had Sho... until now that is. If Sho was to confront him about the quarrel, would he really want to admit how he truly felt? After their tentative stalemate, Jun had wondered if Sho would explain about the latter’s jealousy over the misunderstood situation with Ohno, yet none had been forthcoming. Could he really admit his own regarding Maki? He wasn’t sure if he could accept the probability of Sho telling him ‘We make good working mates, but...’
Running a frustrated fist through his hair, he fished out his credit card and handed it over to the smiling cashier, all the time wishing she’d hurry.
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Had he not been so caught up in his musings, Jun would have discovered that he had been followed seconds after as he exited the restaurant and turned to the right.
The voice that called his name only caused him to jerk around in haste even as his body hurried towards the road junction, as if by continuously moving could he escape his increasingly unavoidable fate.
“Jun, we really need to talk.” Sho’s voice could have held any number of emotions but Jun’s own were running riot and he really didn’t want to say anything to the other man, not before he could sort out what he himself was ready to admit.
“Just... not today okay?” It didn’t even matter if the frenzy in Jun’s voice was a dead giveaway of how disarrayed his inner state was. His footsteps didn’t stop either as he quickly backed away from the older man, intent on not allowing the distance between them to shorten or he knew he’d only give in to the pleading look in Sho’s eyes.
Which was why when Sho suddenly lunged the distance to pull Jun into him, Jun couldn’t register beyond the sudden wind that rushed past his back, bodily hauled forward as he was. It was only the blaring horn of the passing car as it barely slowed that Jun realized how dangerously close he had come to stepping off the kerb and into its path.
He could feel the harsh breaths and trembling in limbs that had suddenly gone numb from shock. It only belatedly occurred to him that he had not been the source, but instead the effects from Sho’s death grip wrapped around his entire body. His own shaky hands tried to rise and cling onto Sho’s jacket to let him know that he was fine, but the older man’s hold on him was too tight to break. Even his own voice seemed stubbornly unwilling to cooperate to negotiate a release from the rigid embrace.
“I thought... I lost you.” Sho’s voice was muffled, but his clutch was still unyielding and he didn’t seem to be embarrassed that Jun could almost hear tears in his voice.
Even as it dawned on Jun how close he came to losing Sho altogether, he could not say anything for several moments. Not if he didn’t want to just break apart into a million pieces.
“Well,” Jun managed to weakly exert his own grip on the man as he was finally given some slack, “You now know how I felt when I heard about your accident.”
The look that Sho threw him as he pulled back had all his emotions blatantly stamped on his face. The smile that Jun tried to plaster on his face wilted as he tracked the fear in Sho’s eyes.
“I hardly think it’s the same thing, Jun. I can’t lose you, not before...” The initial dread in Sho’s eyes shifted, uncertainty creeping in as his arms began to fall away.
Tightening his own hold on Sho before he could lose the security of having the man closer, Jun’s voice was raised no louder than a whisper. “Not before what, Sho?”
Taking a deep breath that seemed to fortify his nerves, Sho watched Jun solemnly for a few seconds. As the words passing through his lips sought verification that Jun was really better, Sho’s gaze demanded an answer to a question that Jun wasn’t really sure he fully understood.
Whatever it was that Sho read in Jun’s slow nod must have given the former the answer he wanted, for the next thing that Jun knew, there was a gentle, comforting pressure against his lips. But too soon, with a tame lick the warmth pulled away, and he found himself again hugged to within an inch of his life.
“It’ll keep for later.”
Even as the arms that gathered him in closer, Jun couldn’t help but feel the surge of emotions flowing from Sho. It didn’t matter that Sho had asked about Maki; there must have been a misunderstanding if he correctly interpreted Sho’s kiss. It just mattered that he held onto the man that much tighter; now that he knew that the two of them were on the same page, other things could wait. Even if he wanted to understand, there were more important things for now.
“You owe me one Sho-kun.”
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[Early December 2010; after Kinosaki onsen trip]
“I’m pretty sure it was just an explanation I owed, not a pledge to risk my life.”
Jun was pretty sure it was relatively mild as far as payback was concerned. Sho really should have known better than to withhold information; besides, considering the heights that they’d gone to for their concerts, Sho should have gotten used to it by now. Really, how bad could a Ferris Wheel ride be?
“You know,” the accusatory tone in Sho’s voice was unmistakable even as he refused to lessen his claw-like grip on the railing, “I should be the one to take issue that you misunderstood the situation when I was asking about Maki-san.” It did not escape Jun’s notice that his eyes were determinedly not straying to any level lower than Jun’s eyes, even with his almost petulant tone.
“Ah... but remind me again: who was the one who thought that I was in love with Riida? Who was the one who railed at his friends due to his own mistaken assumptions? Who made me wait for another three months before he finally explained about Maki? You’re the one who keeps emphasizing the need for trust: you trust me right, Sho?”
Jun tried not to derive (too much) glee as he repeated Sho’s words from before, but he could hardly refrain from teasing the man now that he had the prerogative to do so. Moving carefully to sit beside Sho while causing the least possible amount of swaying to their passenger car, Jun wrapped an arm around the older man’s waist even as he could feel Sho try not to shiver too discernibly.
Leaning his chin on the sloping shoulder so that his lips lingered close to Sho’s ear, Jun continued to lightly taunt the obviously tense man. “I promise you it’ll be worth your while.”
As Sho turned to look at him, his fear of being suspended so high within a glass contraption seemed to have been all forgotten. Instead, an almost suggestive smirk had replaced his earlier expression. “You promise?”
Jun had to laugh at the all-too-evident train of thought that the mind of his boyfriend - and yes, Jun just glowed with the knowledge that he had the right to label Sho as such - had taken. “Well, if you can just survive the next 15 minutes with me without complaint, that can be arranged too.”
“That being the case...” Sho looked to be satisfied enough with the ‘conditions’ as he tentatively shifted himself to settle a little more comfortably in his seat, pulling Jun in more closely to his side. “What exactly are we waiting for again?” It appeared the ever-inquisitive reporter persona was back.
“If I told you, then it wouldn’t be a surprise right?”
“But can we really see anything when it’s been raining intermittently for almost the entire day? And it’s going to be dark soon too.”
Sho’s comment only served to put a nostalgic smile on Jun’s face. At Jun’s prolonged silence, Sho gave a gentle nudge so as not to dislodge him completely. “What’re you thinking about?”
“The night this all started, the weather was kind of like this too.”
“Was it? Heh~” Jun could sense the slight falter as Sho started to say something, only to pause as words seemed to fail him. “Jun... will you be angry if I tell you that I... really don’t recall much of what we talked about that night?”
Jun thought hard about Sho’s reluctant admission. It definitely hurt initially and had led to all the misunderstandings. Yet, if things had not happened the way they did, Jun would be the first to admit that he probably wouldn’t have admitted his never-vacillating feelings for Sho.
Turning to face Sho fully, Jun put a measure of space between them. The year had indeed been a trying one, but there was no way that he could unfairly place the blame on Sho, not if it meant he had to give up what they now had. And he had every intention to make sure Sho clearly understood that as well.
“Did it hurt? I won’t belittle your intelligence by saying otherwise, but-” Jun was quick to interrupt as he saw Sho tense up, “I don’t think I was so innocent either or causing you any less pain.” At Sho’s grudging nod, he reclined against Sho again as he continued. “Ever since your amnesiac episode, I’ve come to realize that what we can remember, the memories we make from here on out, those are what we can choose to store up to remind us of what we treasure in each other. Don’t you think so?”
It was only seconds that had passed, but the soft kiss that Sho gradually nuzzled into his side made Jun smile. Even if Sho’s fears were not fully overcome in that moment, he also knew that he’d gotten through to the man. Now, he just wished the darkness would settle in a little faster, so that the lights would come up for the picturesque view he’d planned for Sho; he wasn’t (much of) a sadist despite public opinion of him. As much as Sho loved Yokohama as a date option (as he’d professed numerous times during their variety shows), Jun knew with certainty that Sho’s fear of heights had kept at bay the option of a Ferris Wheel ride. Now that he’d finally cajoled the acrophobe into one, he wasn’t going to waste the chance to show him the magnificent views of sunset and nightscape of his beloved date city.
As they settled in for the hopefully short wait, Jun found his hand ensconced in the warm grasp of Sho’s. While Sho was clearly still trying not to break out in a cold sweat, Jun couldn’t help but feel put at ease by his attempt, and tried to convey some of his own confidence back to Sho by giving a gentle squeeze of his own.
Outside, the rainfall had almost completely stopped, although the presence of heavy grey clouds signalled the possibility of continued rain. Yet, whether it be clear or cloud-covered skies that were to come, Jun found himself believing in the promise of a pot of gold awaiting at the end of the rainbow for Sho and himself.
THE END
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Final author's note: This first chaptered Arashi fic of mine has finally been completed after two years! To all the patient readers who bothered to keep up with this writer with a terrible sense of time intervals between posts, trying to deal with a writer's block and that little excuse of a full-time job: Thank you. I hope the wait was worth it.
I had the ending in note form for the past year, but never caught the wind to write it in one sitting, be it availability of time or the inspiration to get it written out. Work was no help either, but for what it is worth, it's FINALLY completed.
Some notes about some of the stuff written here:
1. Kinosaki's Yamamotoya ryokan is a real place in Hyogo prefecture: I've stayed there twice, and really love it... hence its inclusion in this fic.
2. The inclusion of Horikita Maki is purely out of convenience. She's not been portrayed negatively, just misinterpreted by the characters in the story. In case any are offended, I do apologize as any negative impression of the actress was never intended.
3. Tokyo yakiniku diner: Don't know of any real restaurant that fits the bill for the fic, especially since I do not eat beef, so I hope that it can at least exist within a fictional realm, if not in reality. LOL.
4. Nagase-san: Of Arashi's sempai group TOKIO. Love the guy for his personality and how he seems to have the most connections to Juniors, so I just HAD to include him. :)
5. The accident that Jun nearly got himself into: a similar incident happened to a friend of mine, but luckily she escaped with very slight brusing to her wrist cos she actually come into contact briefly with the moving vehicle. Luckily a friend of ours was with her, and managed to pull her to safety in time. Talk about SCA-RY.
6. Yokohama: never been there, but wanted to include it cos of Sho's constant reference to it, and of course for the Ferris Wheel. If any inaccuracies noted, I claim creative license? LOL.
7. The last part was amazingly difficult to write, partly cos I found myself stuck on words I wanted to use. In fact, half of it had been written by December of 2011, but between RL and breaks that didn't seem to truly exist, I only managed to just finish getting it completed. I really do apologize for making the wait longer than it really should have been, but I'm glad to say that the curtain has come down on my first chaptered Arashi fic. It's been a scary ride, and I've learnt some lessons about writing chaptered fic (Argh... will I ever dare to write another one in future? We'll see). Still wouldn't have changed it for the world. To those who have been consistently reading a leaving encouraging words, thank you. Even to those who may have read without commenting, I hope that it at least broguht you a little enjoyment. Till the next piece of writing then. :)