so christmas was actually nice. last night i drove to a movie with honora and we're talking, laughing, enjoying the drive, and i realized that i really enjoy being with the individual members of my family and probably like being with them more than most of the other people i know. it's just that certain circumstances make having a good time all ( Read more... )

i used to love christmas and being home and soaking up the love in my family. i wonder if it was just a faux atmosphere i created to ignore the way it really was. or maybe i've just been gone so long. i feel completely out of touch with everyone around me right now.

“My curiosity lies mostly in watching people interact inadvertently with things that, although are essential to their everyday lives, they rarely think about,” I wrote. “To go further with this interest I decided to capture this dialogue through painting… as I moved forward with this I realized that my interpretation of said relationships was very ( Read more... )

number of songs: 4632 ( Read more... )

i don't know why i did it but it felt very comfortable at the time. and now i don't think about it much.

I’ve been feeling nauseated for days.  I am electrified by millions of particles of emotions; each particle splits to make new particles. I’m a little tired of feeling, I’m tired of being unsteady and vulnerable and breakable.  There is no escaping this one, there’s no way to hide or withdraw from it, there is no running through the rain fixes all.
( Read more... )

my mother won't let go of the cat.

"we become who we are by identifying with figures we read about"

so, here i am. my friend is painting a still life reflected in her window while i pretend to write an essay comparing my family to a sack of potatoes. we're listening cibo matto. well, now it's the cure. school is good. i really love painting and have so many plans. but every night i dream of la quercia and every morning i wake up completely. i don ( Read more... )

Today I was wandering the B&N stacks in search of something still unknown to me (this after failing to find an international section... and by international I mean Italian) when I came across a book titled “Beautiful Italy”. Terribly cliché, of course. I sit down to look at the photo journal of Italia at her best and as I flip through the pages I ( Read more... )