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i hv rly n0 frnds at all :'(

Had a little trip yesterday. Have produced work of literary genius. Unfortunately forgot ending.

My redcoat's so beautiful. I am a hotass in uniform. Oh yeah. All the women totally want me. Unfortunately so does Byron - and he's the one who knows about the pox! I rule at this captaincy thing. It helps that I am THE SEX. Now to work on getting this hotass of mine into Parliament.

Just been surfing. Would write an ode to the surf but everyone's too square to understand. Saw nice urn though, might write one on that. If I pretend it's classical maybe the pretentious poets of cuntland will read it. I want a kebab. Actually, Shelley's pretty cool for a posh boy but I could take Byron in a fight. The nancy.

Can't find Elf. He came home soaked yesterday. Odd, since he can't swim. Says he 'Fell in the lake'. Don't believe him.

...Bet it has something to do with syphilis boy >:|

I am a cockernee. Go me. Stupid sexy Byr Byron, thinks he's great, just 'cos he's got the best arse in Italy - I mean the best used. I mean just because he's a Lord. Wish he'd get dried before coming home after swimming. Not on.

Brought the woman to Italy thinking sun might do her good, but she keeps having miscarriages. I'd like to know whose. Can't cope with all the blood. It is unfresh. Lake v. shiny though and view v. pretty. Inspires typical poncey scrawling, so shall set to with haste ( Read more... )

Everyone thinks I am my brother. How Irritating. He's an egotistical prat - He should stop talking about himself and talk about ME. Bloody daffodils.

Tried to loose some of those infernal chains again. That failed, so tried to warn others that escaping the accursed bonds of human slavery of this world might be wise, but they threatened me with exile again, the bastards. Not impressed, Paris! I shake my enchained fist at you! Bah.