Desires are just weak and petty whims with no weight to throw around compared with the almost orgiastic drive of fervent need.

I guess it's the same thing as saying one becomes more self-disciplined because you're acting from conscious restraint, but that doesn't really capture the experiential process.

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After six years I still don't know how to deal with this. Medications don't seem to work, not in conjunction with therapy and not outside of therapy. Trying to force myself out of my lethargy and apathy doesn't seem to work too well, either. What ends up happening is I end up more miserable and anxious in positive situations since I can't seem to ( Read more... )

One of the marvels of being at college here at Bryn Athyn (experiencing the opening of the Isaac Rationale, perhaps?) is that I'm beginning to see the Interconnection. I can place ideas and elaborate on them because I'm beginning to see how much life's like a Jenga structure, and even at the most base level the floor is also a part of the game.

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 I have decided that if I am to spend so much of my time wasting my time, it damn well will be time wasted deliberately from hereon out.

At least for the next several days. I'll let you know how that one goes. Never was one much for being deliberate.

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Sometimes I get really stupid and tongue-tied around certain people and it's like bursting into a room with excitement and anticipation of seeing that person and realizing s/he's in the middle of something much more worthwhile.

I never seem to back out the door gracefully.