Driving

[dilly]

I've been told that I'm strong for making the decision that I did, in ending a fairytale-like, 2.5 year long relationship. I try to remember that every day, because invariably, I end up being the poster child for the exact opposite - I flood over with helpless tears until I fall asleep from emotional exhaustion, and then wake up several hours

Comments

[miss_tia]

Someone close to me is living the same broken fairy tale as yours.
And all I can tell you is that you did what you felt was right. And soon you'll learn to pick up the pieces and keep moving forward.
Things do get better, I promise.

*hugs*

[dilly]

*hug*!

Thanks for the reassurance and words to look forward to. Someday in the future I'll be able to say it was all worth the self-development. *big breath*

Good luck to your friend as well, and I know she's grateful and appreciative of your support. :)

[acting_girl]

*hugs* I'm writing you an email...

[dilly]

*hugs back* :)

I got your email! Wow, some similarities in experiences. I'll write back this evening~~

[clearbright]

i totally know what you mean about the biological clock thing, it drives me crazy! :/

119 already! i hope you're taking care of yourself, L! and i hope to see you soon for girls' night out! *tons of hugs*

[dilly]

*hughughug* Thank you, C~~~

Yeah! I never really gave the whole career/family/life development time cycle much thought in my 20s, but now that I'm 2 months away from the next decade, all of a sudden the whole "it's healthy to have a kid by 35" is looming like a school final that you just realized the day before that you didn't study for. What a balance to try to get your career fully established/fulfilled by then, so that you can shift/juggle priorities without dropping one or the other completely.

I know, it's a straight-down drop. I *am* eating, but I do admit that I'm eating less than before. There's just very little desire to eat, and even less so to cook. So I'm subsisting quite a bit on fruits, vitamins, and brown rice.

And yep! That'll be fun! It's a little bit of a challenge to coordinate with my neighbor since she's planning her wedding (in 4 weeks) and I have three weddings to attend in three weeks (hers included), but we'll find time to have fun. :) Any blocked-off fri/sat dates in your schedule?

[clearbright]

i definitely wish we had more time to figure things out before the healthy baby thing starts looming over our head like a ticking time bomb!!

that's good that you are eating... that's better than nothing. :) and yay for taking vitamins!!

wow you and your neighbor sound very busy in the next month! i have a wedding this coming saturday, but other than that i think i'm free until the 23rd of august! :)

[meocat]

*hugs*

In the long run, what you have done will have been right because later on down the road, you may resent him for the reasons that you wanted to end the relationship.

Please take care of yourself. And reach out to those who care for you.

[dilly]

*hug*! >_< Aww, I feel so warmed and loved with all the hugs! :)

Yes, that's exactly it, thanks for reminding me. I made the decision on some very large/significant "might have been" scenarios that I was afraid of popping up. And there were some unhealthy resentment/unbalanced relationship/frustrations to deal with as well. I wish I knew that there was another path that we could develop, to avoid all of that, but neither of us could identify and commit to it.

Thanks for the nudge, I'm working on reaching out. I'm pretty bad at it since I always think I'm imposing myself on others (my mom said that she wanted to make sure she raised me not to be dependent on others, but she didn't mean for it develop to this extreme), but I think I'm on my way in finding a social support (single!!) female network. :) *hope*

[meocat]

If it's something that can't be fixed early on then there's less of a chance of it happening later :(

Sometimes, I'm kind of like you in the sense that I don't want to impose, but I've discovered in the past couple years that my true friends have been there for me through every moment of my happy and sad times. It really helps bit by bit and day by day for you to heal and move forward. I really don't know how I would've gone through that horrid time a couple years back without my friends and their support!

[dwell]

this was a beautiful post. 3rd from last paragraph crystallizes the sadness.

:T

bt

[dilly]

Thank you. Yeah, there's something about driving and watching the scenery peel by, and wishing there was someone to share it with, isn't there? Recognize the area I was describing? (19th Ave.)

All the same, I know there will be happy times again too. You're proof! :)