i couldn't tell you the last time i was this happy. i can't stop smiling!! i can't wait to leave the country in january :) i am so fucking excited!!! i dont know how to keep a serious face. i dont give a fuck about anyone. i'm happy :) !!!!

ok. so i already knew that friday night was going to be a bad night when i saw cavin. then i had a crazy drunk girl going in an out of suicidal moments. that was super stressful on me. i kept on picturing patrick during that. an it didnt help that saturday was the day we were using to remember chris. so, death wasn't really something i wanted to ( Read more... )

i have got to pretend i have no thoughts. they just get of in trouble

well, here is to today. and what a sucky day it is. I'm in bum fuck PA. i'm getting annoyed every five minutes from tori. and amy lives right down the street from me now. i'm tellin ya. amy seems a lot more appealing to chill with these days. but thats that. hopefully heather can talk her uncle into letting me stay with him for a lil bit till my ( Read more... )

i may have had a lot of fucked up shit done to me but the good out weighs the bad in my books. i guess i'm just sad an depressed that i don't live a fairytale life an you don't always get what you want or desire

tell me why i cried when i walked away this morning to go smoke a cigarette? tell me why. i should be over it

so we all know how i have decided to play shane. it's easier to not get heartache when you have many to keep you occupied. and who needs to be with one person when no one feels right. exactly. well folks. today last year i proposed to sam. yes today makes me really sad. an want to be alone. i gave girlfriend number one the feeling of abandonment. ( Read more... )

i need to be alone. tomorrow brings such a sad sad day.

if i can't have what i want i may as well take everyone that i can get.

seeing jay last night kinda hurt me emotionally. i didnt want to think about the past. an if clearly had to make me feel shitty. not like it was intentional. but it still hurt. part of me really wants to fuck jay. because sam wanted to an never did. an then i could have what she wanted. ugh