and still lies roll in like bowling balls about to make a turkey

my dad won't seem to shake the guilt trips. i'm not really sure how to do everything in the time given. a need a miracle. but as lovely as the vacation would be i know that things will still turn to shit in the end. i'll neglect to keep my current financial situation in my head an will prolly find myself in a hole instead of hovering the surface of ( Read more... )

so how do i put this? being gullible is ok. being gullible helps ease the brain. but i don't know if i want to follow that path. who knows.

well shit. i'm almost at a loss for words

i need to be shot. someone please take me from my misery. i've got the rifle bullet. you just need the gun. if you've got the gun the bullet is in the box with the ring i bought her. but what's the point? i'm the one who got hurt. and the one who is still hurting. i wanna stop hurting. but shit just keeps piling up....i never got to say goodbye. ( Read more... )

i fucking hate being lied to. fuck that. liars get lies in return. when i wanna punch the shit out of things it normally means i want to feel the surge of pain running through my body. it's nobody's fault but my own. i'm not good enough. i fucked up. if you were my best friend you wouldn't have done a good chunk of things that have happened. ( Read more... )

being intuitive is definitely a good quality to have. you were very right to say i was a liar. i don't believe that you still love and care for me. i fall to tears everytime the topic of love or cheating comes up. i hate that song, pain without love. yea that. that whole cd was on repeat after you cheated. and it was her mix. the songs are great. i ( Read more... )

stolen. fucking stolen. at least she never broke my heart. i can deal with people being shifty or shady or gold diggers or whatever. it's no big deal. fuck!

today was my day off. the plan was firstly the aquarium. we didn't have the cash. secondly the zoo. no has money. then i became the third wheel. then amanda didn't call back about a party. and now its movie night at the house with sam.s fuck buddy. ugh. today has not been a good day.

the way i see it is that i have one of three choices. one - stay and be depressed all the time from seeing and hearing it. two - leave and be depressed because i erased all contacts so i wouldn't feel it so much but get sad from having no friends. or three - end it. murder is one way to look at it. suicide would be the other. mind you, they are ( Read more... )