2016, then
2016 in review. Compare and contrast with 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2009, 2008, 2007 or 2006, if you really want to.
2016...
I quite liked it.
I mean, I had good points. Aside from a cancer scare, no-one close to me was really hurt.
But I spent a year putting a lot of effort and energy into a job which didn't challenge me much or give me much to engage me, and grew distant from things I cared about. I also pushed some people away without realising. This is not news.
I think some of what I liked about 2016 was in part the air of doom and loss hanging over everything, of fear of a very uncertain future, which is at times exciting. Because I feel like that most of the time and it made me feel less alone.
(Regardless of whether that's true, it's a good line, and it feels true enough.)
What did you do in 2016 that you'd never done before?
Got a PhD.
Did you keep new year's resolutions and will you make more next year?
I made twenty here
I sort of did (1), but need more, basically succeeded at cutting red meat (2) and chocolate in January (3), lived within means (4), got a lot better at work (6), got to 45 secons of forearmstand, which I'm counting as a win for (7), didn't get an exercise routine or a driving license (though I had lessons) but did get a PhD (8-10). Working on beating myself up less (12) and liking myself more (15). I read some excellent books and books that I think ar egreat, but sort of stalled. Must try harder (14&16). I was maybe a better friend, and managed to climb and, with argument, be non-single for a little while.
I need to do more on the fizzy drinks. I still don't know if I learned anything. (I mean, more than last year, I don't know what I've gained. I got better at some things at work. I found some facts out, but need more. I'm getting better at avoiding just being self-deprecating, though arrogance is a turn-off.) I need to write more. As for 11... well, it's work in progress.
Of course I'll make more. Self-improvement's ongoing, and arbitrary blocks of time are useful motivators.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes! My sister, who then discovered she had cancer! But is okay now!
Did anyone close to you die?
Still no, for three years in a row.
What countries did you visit?
England, Scotland, France, Hungary. You know, the usual.
What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?
A job that challenges me and I'm engaged in. Solid relationship.
What dates from 2016 will remain etched in your memory and why?
4-5th Feb: They Might be Giants.
The Scottish election. "[Terrible thing loss happened]. Smile. We're winning, and there are cameras."
Tiff's 30th.
22 May. Budapest. Escape rooms. Codenames. Good times.
26th June. Twice this year, I slept about 8pm-2am on a night when I was a bit heartbroken owing to an ex who no longer speaks to me having cancelled plans in a particularly heartless way. And I woke up to ... well, I heard Kirsty on the radio at one stage, but then Nigel Farage gave a victory speech saying "We won this without a single bullet being fired", ten days after a young mother was assassinated. I won't forget that.
9th November. For the second time this year, I slept about 8pm-2am on a night when I was a bit heartbroken owing to an ex cancelled plans in a particularly heartless way and indicated she no longer wished to talk to me. And woke up to Trump winning the election, on my thirtieth birthday. Slight narrative perfection, in a horrendous, doomed way which I wish I could appreciate with less than I can feel happiness.
Two days later Leonard Cohen died. Listening to his music helped, and my saying "All hope is dead" moved from a genuine mourning of a loss to an expression of concern over politics and/or joking statement of the times. Not that that change was hugely visible outside of my head.
17th December (it's easier to name them later in the year). An incredible Christmas party the night after seeing Rogue One, which sold the idea of hope.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I officially have the title PhD... but that seems to belong to years past. I've embraced it, though. I manged to find a new cool place and move. I had a sort-of break-up I managed with sort-of dignity.
I got back into climbing a lot after a couple of years of bieng really out with injury. That's a huge deal which I'm really pleased about.
What were your biggest failures this year?
Staying friends. Getting out.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
I spent the first half of the year working off injuries. I'm climbing again, which is good.
What was the best thing you bought?
The boardgame Codenames.
Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Kei. Ian. Dave.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The world's electorates. It's a trite answer. More honestly, and obviously, Donald Trump. I hated the guy since '07 (before it was cool) when I semi-seriously contemplated self-immolation over the horrendous golf course he built near my parents. This year he's demonstrated an impressive ability to consistently dig new lows.
What did you spend most of your spare cash on?
Books.
What did you get really, really excited about?
Kei. Hamilton.
What song will always remind you of 2016?
“There's a million things I haven't done”.
”Alexander Hamilton". Went for the White House version on a whim.
Compared to this time last year are you happier or sadder?
Sadder. Maybe more assured, but the world makes hope hard.
Thinner or fatter?
Thinner, but I must do more.
Richer or poorer?
Just richer.
What do you wish you'd done more of?
Talking to friends. Talking to people.
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Being too tired. Or self-pity.
What was your favorite TV programme?
iZombie just edges Crazy ex-Girlfriend.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I think Farage.
What was the last book you read?
Working on it.
What was your greatest musical discovery?
Lin-Manuel Miranda has to edge it.
What did you want and get?
To be with someone, for a while.
(The PhD too.)
What did you want and not get?
A future. Lasting Love.
What was your favourite film this year?
Rogue One. I think I only saw that and Trumbo.
What did you do on your birthday and how old are you?
I'm 30. See above. Having cakes and drinks with colleagues in the office interrupted by Obama, Ryan and Clinton's speeches was just hilarious.
What one thing would've made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More integration into a strong peer group. A job that challenges. An ability to be alone with myself
I note I actually got: "greater competence. More knowledge I’m pushing myself, the idea that I had skills."
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?
Work: suit, black shirt, tartan tie.
Outside of work: leggings, tank top, maybe leather jacket.
What kept you sane?
No.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
None, really?
What political issue has stirred you the most?
The death of all hope.
Who did you miss?
Someone from 2013 I shouldn’t. Dave M. Kei.
Who was the best new person you met this year?
Kei.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015.
The illusion of coping wins people over more than anything.
I'm attractive still and the reasons I'm unattractive remain unchanged. That climbing is still fun.
That it's easy to get lost by just sitting at a desk for a year and not getting out enough
Pessimistic predictions are easy to make, often true and provide a good way to distance yourself emotionally from a result which should be painful, but distancing yourself from pain you should feel is bad.
I think "There are bad people out there who’ll defeat you a lot. We lose, a lot. The rise of fascism is scary." remains true from last year.
"Just do it" is important, at times, and terrible at others.
What I need to do in 2017: Challenge myself more. Get a good job, without letting myself get locked in myself, managing to keep talking to people. Slightly failing there.
2016...
I quite liked it.
I mean, I had good points. Aside from a cancer scare, no-one close to me was really hurt.
But I spent a year putting a lot of effort and energy into a job which didn't challenge me much or give me much to engage me, and grew distant from things I cared about. I also pushed some people away without realising. This is not news.
I think some of what I liked about 2016 was in part the air of doom and loss hanging over everything, of fear of a very uncertain future, which is at times exciting. Because I feel like that most of the time and it made me feel less alone.
(Regardless of whether that's true, it's a good line, and it feels true enough.)
What did you do in 2016 that you'd never done before?
Got a PhD.
Did you keep new year's resolutions and will you make more next year?
I made twenty here
I sort of did (1), but need more, basically succeeded at cutting red meat (2) and chocolate in January (3), lived within means (4), got a lot better at work (6), got to 45 secons of forearmstand, which I'm counting as a win for (7), didn't get an exercise routine or a driving license (though I had lessons) but did get a PhD (8-10). Working on beating myself up less (12) and liking myself more (15). I read some excellent books and books that I think ar egreat, but sort of stalled. Must try harder (14&16). I was maybe a better friend, and managed to climb and, with argument, be non-single for a little while.
I need to do more on the fizzy drinks. I still don't know if I learned anything. (I mean, more than last year, I don't know what I've gained. I got better at some things at work. I found some facts out, but need more. I'm getting better at avoiding just being self-deprecating, though arrogance is a turn-off.) I need to write more. As for 11... well, it's work in progress.
Of course I'll make more. Self-improvement's ongoing, and arbitrary blocks of time are useful motivators.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes! My sister, who then discovered she had cancer! But is okay now!
Did anyone close to you die?
Still no, for three years in a row.
What countries did you visit?
England, Scotland, France, Hungary. You know, the usual.
What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?
A job that challenges me and I'm engaged in. Solid relationship.
What dates from 2016 will remain etched in your memory and why?
4-5th Feb: They Might be Giants.
The Scottish election. "[Terrible thing loss happened]. Smile. We're winning, and there are cameras."
Tiff's 30th.
22 May. Budapest. Escape rooms. Codenames. Good times.
26th June. Twice this year, I slept about 8pm-2am on a night when I was a bit heartbroken owing to an ex who no longer speaks to me having cancelled plans in a particularly heartless way. And I woke up to ... well, I heard Kirsty on the radio at one stage, but then Nigel Farage gave a victory speech saying "We won this without a single bullet being fired", ten days after a young mother was assassinated. I won't forget that.
9th November. For the second time this year, I slept about 8pm-2am on a night when I was a bit heartbroken owing to an ex cancelled plans in a particularly heartless way and indicated she no longer wished to talk to me. And woke up to Trump winning the election, on my thirtieth birthday. Slight narrative perfection, in a horrendous, doomed way which I wish I could appreciate with less than I can feel happiness.
Two days later Leonard Cohen died. Listening to his music helped, and my saying "All hope is dead" moved from a genuine mourning of a loss to an expression of concern over politics and/or joking statement of the times. Not that that change was hugely visible outside of my head.
17th December (it's easier to name them later in the year). An incredible Christmas party the night after seeing Rogue One, which sold the idea of hope.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I officially have the title PhD... but that seems to belong to years past. I've embraced it, though. I manged to find a new cool place and move. I had a sort-of break-up I managed with sort-of dignity.
I got back into climbing a lot after a couple of years of bieng really out with injury. That's a huge deal which I'm really pleased about.
What were your biggest failures this year?
Staying friends. Getting out.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
I spent the first half of the year working off injuries. I'm climbing again, which is good.
What was the best thing you bought?
The boardgame Codenames.
Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Kei. Ian. Dave.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The world's electorates. It's a trite answer. More honestly, and obviously, Donald Trump. I hated the guy since '07 (before it was cool) when I semi-seriously contemplated self-immolation over the horrendous golf course he built near my parents. This year he's demonstrated an impressive ability to consistently dig new lows.
What did you spend most of your spare cash on?
Books.
What did you get really, really excited about?
Kei. Hamilton.
What song will always remind you of 2016?
“There's a million things I haven't done”.
”Alexander Hamilton". Went for the White House version on a whim.
Compared to this time last year are you happier or sadder?
Sadder. Maybe more assured, but the world makes hope hard.
Thinner or fatter?
Thinner, but I must do more.
Richer or poorer?
Just richer.
What do you wish you'd done more of?
Talking to friends. Talking to people.
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Being too tired. Or self-pity.
What was your favorite TV programme?
iZombie just edges Crazy ex-Girlfriend.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I think Farage.
What was the last book you read?
Working on it.
What was your greatest musical discovery?
Lin-Manuel Miranda has to edge it.
What did you want and get?
To be with someone, for a while.
(The PhD too.)
What did you want and not get?
A future. Lasting Love.
What was your favourite film this year?
Rogue One. I think I only saw that and Trumbo.
What did you do on your birthday and how old are you?
I'm 30. See above. Having cakes and drinks with colleagues in the office interrupted by Obama, Ryan and Clinton's speeches was just hilarious.
What one thing would've made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More integration into a strong peer group. A job that challenges. An ability to be alone with myself
I note I actually got: "greater competence. More knowledge I’m pushing myself, the idea that I had skills."
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?
Work: suit, black shirt, tartan tie.
Outside of work: leggings, tank top, maybe leather jacket.
What kept you sane?
No.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
None, really?
What political issue has stirred you the most?
The death of all hope.
Who did you miss?
Someone from 2013 I shouldn’t. Dave M. Kei.
Who was the best new person you met this year?
Kei.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015.
The illusion of coping wins people over more than anything.
I'm attractive still and the reasons I'm unattractive remain unchanged. That climbing is still fun.
That it's easy to get lost by just sitting at a desk for a year and not getting out enough
Pessimistic predictions are easy to make, often true and provide a good way to distance yourself emotionally from a result which should be painful, but distancing yourself from pain you should feel is bad.
I think "There are bad people out there who’ll defeat you a lot. We lose, a lot. The rise of fascism is scary." remains true from last year.
"Just do it" is important, at times, and terrible at others.
What I need to do in 2017: Challenge myself more. Get a good job, without letting myself get locked in myself, managing to keep talking to people. Slightly failing there.