2018 in review
2018 in review. Compare and contrast with 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2009, 2008, 2007 or 2006, if you really want to.
2018…
The last thing I did before midnight was find the bank card I’d lost a week earlier. In my wallet. That does actually symbolise 2018 - logistic complications discovered to have been unnecessary just piling on and on.
I notice while writing this that my words have got worse the last couple of months. I had better lines earlier in the year. Now I’m just trying to drag myself on. I’m tired. I’m so tired, trying to do too much. But I’m reading great books. Maybe I do need more rest. Or not to be working two jobs, volunteering and taking part in two v time-consuming hobbies.
The thing about Brexit’s that even in the holidays, it’s so much a remarkable thing that everyone still asks about it. In a way it’s an achievement. We will probably, hopefully, never again see a country shoot itself in the foot so much.
What did you do in 2018 that you'd never done before?
Climbed 200 days of a year. Was paid for climbing coaching. Volunteered in a hospital. Started doing sort of economics? Failed to get into a university course I applied for. Played D&D. Kayaked a heavily pregnant woman halfway across Loch Lomond. Booked hotel rooms. And some sex things which we won’t go into here.
Did you keep new year's resolutions and will you make more next year?
I made a few. I see now I didn’t write them all down. Notable ones I kept:
A) To only have one sugary drink a day. (This adds to my only eating red meat one day a week.) It’s been good.
B) To climb as many days as I did in 2013, when I was 5 years younger and climbed most days.
C) To not watch Friends. (Because it had just come back onto Netflix and I could see myself wasting time and attention there.)
Of course I'll make more. Self-improvement's ongoing, and arbitrary blocks of time are useful motivators.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
My sister. For the third year in a row, and it is due to continue next year. (This one is at least my other sister.)
Did anyone close to you die?
Still no. I am lucky that way.
What countries did you visit?
England, Scotland, Wales. Belgium, for a night.
What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018?
To get into med school. I fear I haven’t convinced myself I want it enough or am able to put enough effort in.
What dates from 2018 will remain etched in your memory and why?
12 May. Sister’s 30th.
25th July. Me, my parents, and my other sister all being there the night Beth came home from the hospital with her baby.
7 Oct - David’s wedding.
29th Dec - Dad’s 60th? So much stuff with parents this year. So little therapy.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I climbed a lot. I got overly proud of predicting some numbers that political obsessives care about. I got back in touch with someone from school I’d not really known, and started an intense love affair with her despite her open marriage was has lasted nine months and seems sort of good? It’s something I don’t examine too much. I maybe should. There’s a lot I’m doing I should think more about. But … apparently I’m good for her and she’s good for me? It confuses me a lot. Which is why I try not to think about it a lot. I’m glad she’s in my life. Really, though, getting paid to show people good climbing problems is the only one.
What were your biggest failures this year?
Prioritisation. (Not getting that job. Or a future.)
Did you suffer illness or injury?
Few colds, otherwise no.
What was the best thing you bought?
Books by M John Harrison and Rodrigo Fresan.
Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Jenny. Maybe James/Grant?
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The German football team.
What did you spend most of your spare cash on?
Last minute travel
What did you get really, really excited about?
WicDiv. D&D. Climbing. Numbers. Jenny.
What song will always remind you of 2017?
Hah, The Arctic Monkey’s Four out of Five is maybe the answer, and certainly appropriate.
This year’s Los Camp! gig was pretty great, if characterised by my being in a weird place. (I wish it wasn’t mentally overshadowed by guilt over being too much in someone’s personal space
The Strokes - Hard to Explain and The National - The System Only Sleeps in Total Darkness both go through my head.
Compared to this time last year are you happier or sadder?
Happier. With a bit to a lot less hope. And more tired.
Thinner or fatter?
Not substantially changed. And it’s not clear whether or not I’m bulimic?
Richer or poorer?
Richer.
What do you wish you'd done more of?
I don’t know if there is anything. Which is … interesting. (And speaks to the point on med school.)
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Been a dick, in a bunch of levels
What was your favorite TV programme?
I think still Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, with still Bojack a close second. Though Mad Men is great.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Politically, maybe a certain someone with the initials JC?
What was the last book you read?
Tender is the Night by F Scott Fitzgerald
What was your greatest musical discovery?
… I feel like “The Strokes” is a really bad answer for 2018. Been listening to more podcasts than music. Should change that.
What did you want and get?
Not that much. I mean, 200 climbs, a (sort of?) girlfriend (and she is amazing), to get in a game, to get a job, to get on a game, to get a volunteering spot. But overall? This year’s … not had that much wanting? Except maybe cool Lego. (How much have I regressed? How much am I in denial?)
I think the quality of stuff I read this year’s been high. The best of the last five years? If not more.
What did you want and not get?
Time with a few people. (Attention.) To get into med school. To get a different job.
On the whole, I’m back at a point where I’m short of wanting more than getting. (Which, of course, is more of an issue.) (Attention)
What was your favourite film this year?
Maybe Three Billboards outside Epping, Missouri? This year’s not been that filmy, either. Just. Doing things. And I’m not sure how I feel about it.
What did you do on your birthday and how old are you?
I'm 32. I went to my parents place, and hung out the weird synthesis of the past with non-past and … semi-navelgazing?
What one thing would've made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A simpler lovelife. Hell, simplicity.
From 2017: “(Last year, half of what I said was "a future". I might have got that this year -- but I won't find out whether or not I succeeded in a long shot for another 2.5 months. It's killing me.)” I didn’t get it. I’d like a future.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018?
Omnipresent black and white bamboo hoodie.
What kept you sane?
Last year’s answer: “the emotional labour of my female friends and climbing.” Is sort of true. Except I think climbing’s not been as sanity restoring this year - been more obsessive about it. And … My answer is “Sleep deprivation, if anything. But probably it didn’t.”
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
A lot more people in person..
What political issue has stirred you the most?
This Brexit keeps getting worse all the time..
Who did you miss?
This year was full of over examining the past.
My relationship (which I should not want to put inverted commas around) is in some sense an exercise in trying to look at a past that didn’t happen. I spend a lot of time, generally, and this year especially, pointedly not thinking about how things could’ve been different. For a number of reasons, not least: they couldn’t.
Who was the best new person you met this year?
Yeah, let’s go with James M.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018
I remain at times disturbingly charming and off-putting.
The NHS is fundamentally set-up to be unable to provide therapy well.
I need to know when to step back.
What I need to do in 2019: Find something. Prioritise. Focus. Sleep. Re-focus.
2018…
The last thing I did before midnight was find the bank card I’d lost a week earlier. In my wallet. That does actually symbolise 2018 - logistic complications discovered to have been unnecessary just piling on and on.
I notice while writing this that my words have got worse the last couple of months. I had better lines earlier in the year. Now I’m just trying to drag myself on. I’m tired. I’m so tired, trying to do too much. But I’m reading great books. Maybe I do need more rest. Or not to be working two jobs, volunteering and taking part in two v time-consuming hobbies.
The thing about Brexit’s that even in the holidays, it’s so much a remarkable thing that everyone still asks about it. In a way it’s an achievement. We will probably, hopefully, never again see a country shoot itself in the foot so much.
What did you do in 2018 that you'd never done before?
Climbed 200 days of a year. Was paid for climbing coaching. Volunteered in a hospital. Started doing sort of economics? Failed to get into a university course I applied for. Played D&D. Kayaked a heavily pregnant woman halfway across Loch Lomond. Booked hotel rooms. And some sex things which we won’t go into here.
Did you keep new year's resolutions and will you make more next year?
I made a few. I see now I didn’t write them all down. Notable ones I kept:
A) To only have one sugary drink a day. (This adds to my only eating red meat one day a week.) It’s been good.
B) To climb as many days as I did in 2013, when I was 5 years younger and climbed most days.
C) To not watch Friends. (Because it had just come back onto Netflix and I could see myself wasting time and attention there.)
Of course I'll make more. Self-improvement's ongoing, and arbitrary blocks of time are useful motivators.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
My sister. For the third year in a row, and it is due to continue next year. (This one is at least my other sister.)
Did anyone close to you die?
Still no. I am lucky that way.
What countries did you visit?
England, Scotland, Wales. Belgium, for a night.
What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018?
To get into med school. I fear I haven’t convinced myself I want it enough or am able to put enough effort in.
What dates from 2018 will remain etched in your memory and why?
12 May. Sister’s 30th.
25th July. Me, my parents, and my other sister all being there the night Beth came home from the hospital with her baby.
7 Oct - David’s wedding.
29th Dec - Dad’s 60th? So much stuff with parents this year. So little therapy.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I climbed a lot. I got overly proud of predicting some numbers that political obsessives care about. I got back in touch with someone from school I’d not really known, and started an intense love affair with her despite her open marriage was has lasted nine months and seems sort of good? It’s something I don’t examine too much. I maybe should. There’s a lot I’m doing I should think more about. But … apparently I’m good for her and she’s good for me? It confuses me a lot. Which is why I try not to think about it a lot. I’m glad she’s in my life. Really, though, getting paid to show people good climbing problems is the only one.
What were your biggest failures this year?
Prioritisation. (Not getting that job. Or a future.)
Did you suffer illness or injury?
Few colds, otherwise no.
What was the best thing you bought?
Books by M John Harrison and Rodrigo Fresan.
Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Jenny. Maybe James/Grant?
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The German football team.
What did you spend most of your spare cash on?
Last minute travel
What did you get really, really excited about?
WicDiv. D&D. Climbing. Numbers. Jenny.
What song will always remind you of 2017?
Hah, The Arctic Monkey’s Four out of Five is maybe the answer, and certainly appropriate.
This year’s Los Camp! gig was pretty great, if characterised by my being in a weird place. (I wish it wasn’t mentally overshadowed by guilt over being too much in someone’s personal space
The Strokes - Hard to Explain and The National - The System Only Sleeps in Total Darkness both go through my head.
Compared to this time last year are you happier or sadder?
Happier. With a bit to a lot less hope. And more tired.
Thinner or fatter?
Not substantially changed. And it’s not clear whether or not I’m bulimic?
Richer or poorer?
Richer.
What do you wish you'd done more of?
I don’t know if there is anything. Which is … interesting. (And speaks to the point on med school.)
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Been a dick, in a bunch of levels
What was your favorite TV programme?
I think still Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, with still Bojack a close second. Though Mad Men is great.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Politically, maybe a certain someone with the initials JC?
What was the last book you read?
Tender is the Night by F Scott Fitzgerald
What was your greatest musical discovery?
… I feel like “The Strokes” is a really bad answer for 2018. Been listening to more podcasts than music. Should change that.
What did you want and get?
Not that much. I mean, 200 climbs, a (sort of?) girlfriend (and she is amazing), to get in a game, to get a job, to get on a game, to get a volunteering spot. But overall? This year’s … not had that much wanting? Except maybe cool Lego. (How much have I regressed? How much am I in denial?)
I think the quality of stuff I read this year’s been high. The best of the last five years? If not more.
What did you want and not get?
Time with a few people. (Attention.) To get into med school. To get a different job.
On the whole, I’m back at a point where I’m short of wanting more than getting. (Which, of course, is more of an issue.) (Attention)
What was your favourite film this year?
Maybe Three Billboards outside Epping, Missouri? This year’s not been that filmy, either. Just. Doing things. And I’m not sure how I feel about it.
What did you do on your birthday and how old are you?
I'm 32. I went to my parents place, and hung out the weird synthesis of the past with non-past and … semi-navelgazing?
What one thing would've made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A simpler lovelife. Hell, simplicity.
From 2017: “(Last year, half of what I said was "a future". I might have got that this year -- but I won't find out whether or not I succeeded in a long shot for another 2.5 months. It's killing me.)” I didn’t get it. I’d like a future.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018?
Omnipresent black and white bamboo hoodie.
What kept you sane?
Last year’s answer: “the emotional labour of my female friends and climbing.” Is sort of true. Except I think climbing’s not been as sanity restoring this year - been more obsessive about it. And … My answer is “Sleep deprivation, if anything. But probably it didn’t.”
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
A lot more people in person..
What political issue has stirred you the most?
This Brexit keeps getting worse all the time..
Who did you miss?
This year was full of over examining the past.
My relationship (which I should not want to put inverted commas around) is in some sense an exercise in trying to look at a past that didn’t happen. I spend a lot of time, generally, and this year especially, pointedly not thinking about how things could’ve been different. For a number of reasons, not least: they couldn’t.
Who was the best new person you met this year?
Yeah, let’s go with James M.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018
I remain at times disturbingly charming and off-putting.
The NHS is fundamentally set-up to be unable to provide therapy well.
I need to know when to step back.
What I need to do in 2019: Find something. Prioritise. Focus. Sleep. Re-focus.