Well I figure I should use this again. if nothing than a repository for the rants that no one else wants to listen to.

So for 14 years I lived in Virginia. last september I moved back to my home state of Michigan. I have an amazing job, still working on purchasing a house (might be a bit until I get to that) but either way I'm getting settled. ( Read more... )

When did I loose my muchness?

I want to do something that matters. Be someone who matters....

I have a hard time letting things go. Like if you hurt me. I want revenge. I want you to hurt as badly as I do. But the downfall is that they never hurt as bad as you do. Frequently those who have offended just dont Cade.

I want to actually matter. To be somewhat important. Right now I'm a calculating body holding a place and dutifully paying taxes. There is no reason for me to be here I just am. I guess that's supposed to be enough.

One person goes down and the shit hits the fan.... let's see how well I do tonight doing the work of three people. 0___o

I woke up last night... and well I was late and I have not felt so bad in months. Once I got moving I was ok but it took a bit.

Get to working and then, almost immediately, I fall behind. My personal goal is that every night I'm MOD I get the End of Day processes started around 3am anything later than 4am and I'm woefully behind and starting to ( Read more... )

Ok SO.... I have anxiety attacks. And they're not the always the typical wringing your hands and pacing around the room. Some times... in my case its lying in bed wide awake staring at the ceiling when I know that I need to sleep. Its worrying that you're annoying people when there is really no logical sign that I've even registered on their radar ( Read more... )

Self esteem ...isn't that the concept in which you love yourself?

So.... I'm looking to employ a lawyer to make sure I get a decent settlement for the accident I had two weeks ago. Thankfully I'm doing better, but there is about a week and a half of pain, confusion, foggy brain, stress, and anxiety that I just did not need.