Hi everyone~Active community alert! (well, will be once YOU join!)

I noticed this community was dead so I thought it would be alright to tell you about my community I am trying to get active again- big_eds I opened big eds in 2009 as a community for bigger girls, however I have recently opened the doors to ALL eating disordered/disordered eating ( Read more... )

I was gone for a while because my mother didn't pay her internet bill -.- which of course meant all my course work fell behind and I was unable to come online. First world problems eh? I mean I'm grateful for having a house and such things but at the same time we online people live in a world were internet is also vital ... I mean for me anyway. I ( Read more... )

I cut today.
deep
It didn't hurt. I just stared at it. As I realized how deep it was and that I could actually seem veins. Blue. Through the giant gap that now exists on my wrist.
I ran for paper towel as blood started pooling to the surface. I got it cleaned up but it did eventually start hurting. Now it hurts to move my wrist. Hurts to use it.
( Read more... )

Purge

Cut

Shower

Starve

One of my best friends is moving In the fall. Then tells me how he might be deployed next year with the army. Fml. Great. The one person I turn to with this is leaving. How come every time I get close with someone they leave? It's got to be me. Something wrong with me.
Wtf. I can't do this. I always feel so fucking alone.

So here I am. Doing what I ( Read more... )

Today has been a better day. I haven't cut. I haven't purged. I have eaten some bad foods. But have been heavy on the diet pills. I don't think it's set in how fat I'll be tomorrow from today :/ and that will be the end of me feeling good. I feel good knowing I haven't let my friend down today.

I'm so tired and nervous about my workout tomorrow. I ( Read more... )

Hi there beautiful people I'm new to the community. I hope you don't mind me joining. I'm just looking for some people to be friends with and also to help me get rid of my stubborn recovery weight and then some. I don't know what I'm meant to say in my first entry, the only other blog that I have and have kept is my Tumblr and I seem to think that ( Read more... )

I feel dead inside.

I am having all these health probs I'm assuming related to my ed. I could finish my workout. I thought my heart was going to stop it hurt so bad. I could breath and I couldnt stop shaking. I lost it. Balled my eyes out. Nate my amazing friend grabbed ahold of me calmed me down and talked me out of where my head was taking me. ( Read more... )

Since the 25th I've gone down 7 pounds! I've been working so hard at losing the 2 pounds and it clearly worked! Finally! I have one more pound to go to reach my short term goal of 116. I should have it within a day or so. Hopefully this weight will stay off and it's not some weird fluid shift! Stay positive people!<3 <3

I'm so down. Depressed. Hateful

I hate myself. I'm gross.
Fat
Ugly
Stupid
Dumb
My thighs are fat
My stomach is huge
My arms are flappy
I have like 3 chins.

Fuck everything. I cut myself today. I want to cut again. I hate myself. It felt so good after I did it. I just want to do it again. I want to feel that sting again.

Wtf is wrong with me.