I'm afraid... I'm calm recently because I'm too tired of reacting to everything and because I'm stopping lying to myself... I'm not sure what the profound change is, because I feel different, because I cried, but only gently, only a few tears, and came to a conclusion, instead of going in my downward spirals. But I'm still afraid... it's why I've ( Read more... )

Below is an old blog I forgot to post here from friday night:

"Ok... yeah...  I didn't want to say it out loud to too many people, so not everyone knows...  On thursday, I got endited for a thought crime in American Problems.  For some reason, this got me upset enough to push me into my ( Read more... )

Ty and I had an awesome Sunday: I slept over at his house from the night before, we had breakfast watching Memoirs of a Geisha, which I understood very well this time, and then we went ice skating and took pictures of each other and it was a blast! Ty can't tie ice skates (he can still surprise me ^_^) and his feet hurt after a while, because of ( Read more... )

I just noticed it's dark outside... I think it's been dark for about an hour...

I hate long breaks from school because all that happens is that I get bored and apprehensive and lazy is school is that much harder afterwards, but then I would probably die without that chance to sleep. Anyway, not much happened, except that Ty, Erik (he is no longer ( Read more... )

For once, I'm starting without knowing what I'll say at all ( Read more... )

"I give away the things I want the most because the things I want the most can only be given"

That is why I don't know what gifts I want... everything physical, I can get myself, getting it from someone else doesn't really make me happy. I'm tired of getting my own happiness (if you've read my poetry, it's all there) but that is not so easily given ( Read more... )

When I fell asleep Wednesday night, I had been awake for 31.5 hours strait... ok, I passed out for 15 minutes at about 6 am, but can you blame me? and does it really count? Anyway... what I tri! It looks like I might get a 4.0 after all, but gods it's been hell... I started in summer mode, I didn't get used to having to get up every morning and ( Read more... )

Wow, it's been ages... well, me and Ty (who has for ever been reduced to one syllable, it's my sign of affection) have been hanging out almost every weekend, which makes me smile a lot, even though my homework load is unbelievable ( Read more... )

Yep, I'm skipping class... first time in... ever... it's college too! I'm skipping my first day of college and I'm not technacly in college yet... not a good president, but I'm tired of trying to be perfect.

So yeah, life in reverse:

Today, I was totally out of it, a horrible horrible head ache in which I couldn't tell there was someone infront of me ( Read more... )

If you can, read my reply to Ty on Myspace, I'm not freaking out so bad, but I was yesterday because... I don't like chaos and it smacked me right on the head...

the facts: I have no idea what I'm going to do once I graduate highschool with the 3.99999999 I will have after a few more melt downs.... hopefully, I'll know by then.

I am lazy sometimes, ( Read more... )