I keep meaning to update more than just my usual bitter cryptic (and retarded) posts. But whenever I sit down to do so, all that organisation and planning flies right out of my head. And I'm left with a pile of mush that used to be my brain and my mind meandering off all on it's own. So then I panick, and either don't post or post retardedly. So ( Read more... )

Love at first sight doesn't exist.

If you're not pretty in the first place.

Maybe I was wrong.

Surprise! Wrong as usual...

So here comes another New Year. And is it too much to say that it might be different, it might be a good different? Something is going to happen and I hope hope hope it does. And it stays.

I haven't smiled this much, this genuinely in a while.

Oh please please please don't let it be a trick.

2009 is my year.

I see faces in the wind.

How slowly time inches by when you're standing still. It's a maddening itch that crawls across your skin, red hot and unattainable; it's the feeling of the minutes passing by as a harsh brush against your face, your arms, your skin, crawling through your scalp, spreading across fingers and toes. It lingers, and doesn't move and neither do you. ( Read more... )

How do you get by not talking to anyone ( Read more... )

Goddamn. My car door handle broke. Are you kidding me...?

I've come to the realisation of how much I've truly pushed away the close friends I had when Jamie died. I didn't want to talk to them, I didn't want to "talk about it" with them, I had nothing to say. I didn't want to continue as though Jamie never died, I believed that was an insult to his memory and to his soul. So I pushed them away. And they ( Read more... )

I'm never going to get over it. Over you.

And it still hurts. Everyday.