This morning, anger... sorrow... dissapointment... every negative emotion could be felt in this house.

I have failed. I was suppose to be resonsible... i was suppose to be here. I went out with friends. So i guess i deserve this.

I'm not suppose to be near my computer anymore... I'm not suppose to go anywhere anymore... or anything.

Someone had to ( Read more... )

I have to say i was havin a good weekend. i feel i deserved it. i dealt with shit. i deserved my share of joy. so i take it. fuckin come home to hell. hell to a new level.
mom came home tonight... fuckin thought she would be home tomorrow. i was out with john and steve... and john says as we pull in our drive "is your mom home?" sure enough, she was ( Read more... )

I usually dont get angry when i get upset, but i really... really am angered. My body is shaking, i feel cold... i feel like im gonna puke, and i feel like i could take someones life right now.

A few days back, my mom told me to "take care of the cans of soda sitting on the table in the front room". i didnt think they were mine. i hadnt been in the ( Read more... )

i believe in life after death. i believe we keep coming to this world in order to learn lessons, and once we have fufilled our duties, obligations, and lessons... we will move on and our souls will be at peace... at rest.
i also believe in karma. I believe if you put out good, good will return. if you put out bad, bad will return.

But look at my ( Read more... )

Pulled under
feeling the strain,
full of envy
and all of its pain.

Running away
hiding from reality,
trying to escape
this lonesome normality.

I look to the sky
heart filled with hope,
only to be pushed
to the end of my rope.

Death from loneliness
Love my only cure,
Alone with no one
To keep me secure.

With the night fall
happiness dies
scared and alone
my fatal ( Read more... )

I realize its been a very long time since i updated. i know of at least 1 comment given in regards of updating. so here you go.

Lately, i just haven't found any need to post here... like its not important to me anymore. It felt like hardly anyone even read these, let alone replied. Live has gotten to stressful for me to want to have time to write ( Read more... )

I've been doing really good with my mood lately. I want to like... punch fate. I complained in here about not ever getting to do anything, remember?

Well starting that day and on, ive been out with friends or something. every day since i complained... and its friday, and i have a ton of friends wanting to do things with me, Travis, Jason, John, ( Read more... )

( Shame No One's Watching, Put This In Your Journal: )

This is probably going to sound rediculous, or stupid. or both. probably both.

i think im gonna just... stop messing around online, or worrying if my friends are on or such. I read your guy's journals, and it makes me look at my life. You guys post about stuff and have a life, where you do things. Visit relatives, go shopping, spend the weekend ( Read more... )

Internets working :)

*does a small little cheer* xD

in addition...

I had this background virus. very weird. but like... it was this odd thing where the background became hidden. it would be covered with this... tan color, then if i moved the cursor over an icon, it changed to white. the annoying part was it removed the "My Computer" icon off of my ( Read more... )