[Malcolm's been awake for the last few hours and doing nothing but reading through all the postings he's missed while in his hiatus coma. Colour him gobsmacked ( Read more... )

[Audio. Malcolm's Glaswegian accent has thickened considerably.]

( Language cut. )

( Text: Private to Sylar )

[Private to Tim Drake]
Tim Drake? Got a moment?

Don't think we've met. The name's Malcolm Tucker. Former Director of Communications to the Prime Minister of the UK, now inmate aboard fucking Red Dwarf here.

Got a question for you about your lad Sylar.

Okay, any of you fucking party-crashers know who won the 2010 general election in the UK?

[OOC: Feel free to fourth-wall the crap out of him. He's overdue for figuring out that Tom Davis is the fictional inhabitant of Downing Street, not Gordon Brown or Blair.]

[Filtered to the infirmary staff + Claire, Paddy, Rube, Parker (i.e. the people he sort of almost trusts).]

Is there anything at all in the fucking infirmary for a migraine? I feel like sodding Riverdance is stamping and kicking its Hibernian way through my fucking skull.

[OOC: What's this about? Well, perhaps the current general election in the ( Read more... )

Youth fucking wasted on the young my fucking arse.

[Private to Claire]
Did I fucking hear right? About the warden thing?

[Malc needed someone to terrorise and so he went off in search of Columbus, only to discover he's nowhere to be found.]

So has Christopher Robin fucked back off to the fucking Hundred Acre Wood, then?

Not even two months and one fucking warden already gone. This is better than my first two months in Whitehall.

[The camera clicks on revealing Malcolm, no longer bespectacled and looking absolutely fucking awful, like he just spent the whole night pacing and cursing in his cabin. Which he did. He starts to say something, then scrubs his hands over his face.]

Fucking fuck it.[And he reaches out and slaps the camera off. If anyone responds, his responses ( Read more... )

[Malcolm is doing this one audio-only, while he's running around the Ministry of Propaganda like someone set him on fire. Anyone watching will see only the Masterworld Channel test card.]

( -the fuck do you mean the best HD camera's on the fritz? )