it’s been a year.

my years tend to clatter to an exhausted finish, unruly and bristling with loose ends. my prayer for the next one usually goes something like, “God, please let this year be better.” but for once, at the end of a year, the feeling of utter exhaustion is missing. parts of this year were hell, and parts of it were glory, which is the ( Read more... )

• Woke up slowly, poured a mug of coffee, internetted to Laura Gibson.

• Donned favourite dress, which of course is the plain, strangely flattering dress of unknown vintage I snagged for twenty-nine cents at Goodwill last autumn, and suits me in both my weird gothy moods and my wild woodsy ones. I like it even more with a crocheted skirt underneath it ( Read more... )

today:

• woke a little early, couldn't go back to sleep, so pulled laptop into bed and internetted under the covers. also there was snow?! it was a little storybookish really.
• could barely swallow my banana and only just managed to down a cup of coffee -- the nausea's been coming and going all day; I think I'm finally fine and then fifteen minutes ( Read more... )

O internet! Work has been eating me alive. I am not in the jauntiest of moods tonight, but I have wine, so that's nice.

Run-down of the latest events!:

• Came home from work Tuesday to a phone call from the free clinic: "oh the doctor you were going to talk to cancelled for today, no appointment for you". Hung up phone. Burst into tears. While I was ( Read more... )

Today was... drastically unplanned. Actually, that is the story of the last two days, really, I think -- last night I had to choose (with a gross amount of emotion that I hope I can ascribe to spiritual exhaustion + lack of meds) between going to a mall in another town with my mother and sister, going to my weekly coffeeshop open mic night, or ( Read more... )

I am quitting my job.

This isn't healthy and while I need to work, it shouldn't be like this.

I won't give my notice until I have a new prospect lined up, but directly after work today I am going across the street to the mall and looking. (Things I am looking for: probably retail; smaller; ability to sit down occasionally; ability to work alone; no ( Read more... )

Wow. Um. Today was worse than expected.

Last night: came home, was tired, especially as the winds were out in full force battering my poor bicycle back down the road -- o, how I love the howling of the wind! O HOW I DO NOT LOVE IT ANYMORE WHEN I AM TRYING TO BICYCLE HOME STRAIGHT INTO IT. The first time it happened was also the time I'd forgotten my ( Read more... )

I mean, I've nearly always known: Jo's brain does not work like the standard brain, for good or for ill (a heavy dose of both really). But I thought I had it mostly under control, and I thought it was mostly None Of My Interests Are Entirely Normal and I Am An Introvert And Need To Recharge and Sometimes My Brain Turns Inside-Out And Everything Is ( Read more... )

• Went to: family reunion (surprisingly fab in parts, partly because all of the weird members of the family hung out together at our campsite), the Dublin Irish Festival (Ohio, not Ireland, alas -- but much in the way of marvels though cut short by a rainstorm, and also I tripped on nothing and strained my knee for two weeks), and a cabin in West ( Read more... )

hello livejournal.

it is the middle of the night and i am holidaying in west virginia and full of wine and stars.

it's okay, i am coming back to you soon.

i have been in a deeply deeply terrible headspace for some time (gueeeeess who lost insurance and therefore medication when she turned twenty-one? NO, YOU SHOULD GUESS; can get free clinic when I ( Read more... )