Title - Villains
Fandom - Once Upon a Time
Pairing - Emma/Regina
Rating - PG13
AN - Set during The Heart of the Truest Believer (which means I’ve finally managed to make it to season three) and follows
my drabbles,
Mirror Mirror,
This Provincial Life,
Viviane or Nimue,
Dreams and Wishes,
All the Better to….,
Magic Keys,
Curiouser and Curiouser,
Snow Blind,
Spinning Straw ,
Wooden Hearts ,
Poisoned ,
True Love and Other Curses,
Spellbound,
Over the Rainbow,
Facades,
Lost Girls,
Monstrosities,
Love and Lies,
Something Wicked This Way Comes,
Dreamscapes,
Homecomings,
Test Match,
Wishful Thinking,
Absent Friends,
Small Mercies,
State of Mind,
Good Intentions,
Sins of Mothers,
Affairs of the Heart,
Power Plays,
Crying Wolf,
The Eye of the Storm and
Doomsday Devices Villains
If there is such a thing as hell, this is it. She has never been a fan of Pan and his prancing shadow and Neverland was on the list of places she had no plans to set foot but now she has to deal with both the boy and his land. The only thing that had the power to draw her here is Henry and she seems to be the only one on this boat in any real hurry to rescue him. To top it all off she is trapped on a sorry excuse for a ship with the Charmings. If she were looking for ways to torture herself she could not have done better.
Emma is here, which seems like it should be a blessing, but in many ways it makes things worse. Being in close quarters with Emma yet having no real way of being able to touch her, or even talk to her, is worse than not having Emma there at all.
Snow and Charmless have effectively sequestered Emma and given there is no love lost between Regina and Rumpelstiltskin she is left with no one to talk to but Hook. To be honest she would rather puncture her own eardrums than talk to him but for some reason she feels the need to prove to the Charmings that she is not alone.
Things have reached the point where she is considering separating Hook’s tongue from his body when suddenly the pirate’s self-preservation skills kick in and he suggests that she go and rest. She doesn’t argue. She needs Hook in order to reach the island and if she is forced to spend any longer in his company he is likely to end up dead.
She cautiously makes her way below decks. The last thing she needs is to end up blind from a chance encounter with a naked Snow and Charming. To her delight, and great relief, she finds that Emma is alone. Regina voyeuristically watches the muscles in Emma’s back ripple as Emma pulls herself up to the bar before clearing her throat and announcing her presence. Truth be told she could watch this for days but she is not about to pass up the gift of time alone with Emma.
The blonde turns to face her and she watches as excitement flashes across Emma’s eyes only to be replaced by something else. Something darker. Something that Regina is not at all comfortable seeing there.
“I didn’t think we’d get the chance to be alone,” she admits.
“Neither did I,” Emma replies and if Regina didn’t know better she would think that Emma was none too happy with this turn of events.
“Do we need to talk about what happened?” she tries to keep the concern out of her voice.
In actual fact Regina is not entirely sure what happened when they combined their magic. She has never experienced anything like that before. It was as though the boundaries between her and Emma had been erased. She no longer knew where she ended and where Emma began. They were one and the same. They were everything. It had seemed to last forever but apparently it was only a split second because no one else is talking about hours being spent watching the two of them magically deactivate the bomb.
“There’s nothing to talk about. Those bastards took our son and we need to get him back.”
“That’s not what I was referring to and you know it.”
“Well it’s the only thing I want to talk about,” Emma’s arms are folded across her body and her voice is harsh and Regina has no idea why this is happening.
“Listen,” she risks stepping into Emma’s personal space, “I know it was all a bit overwhelming but you have to admit it was also kind of incredible.” Regina dropped her voice as she spoke, it’s a move that is normally enough to give Emma shivers but this time all it does is make Emma’s posture more rigid. She would never admit it but she is finding Emma’s behaviour terrifying.
“It never should have happened,” Emma says coldly.
“I’m sorry. I tried my best but without my magic I am not strong. I couldn’t withstand what Greg was doing to me.”
Emma seems to collapse in on herself. “Oh Regina,” she says tenderly as she reaches out and cups Regina’s cheek, “I would never hold that against you.”
“But I was spiteful. The things I said to him were not nice. If I hadn’t have done that he might not have activated the doomsday device.”
“I’m not mad at you for that.”
She tilts her head to the side and regards Emma, “But you are made at me about something.”
Emma shakes her head, “It’s not important. We need to focus on Henry.”
“How can you say it’s not important? It’s clearly upsetting you.”
“Regina,” Emma warns, “this is not a conversation that you want to have.”
“Whatever this is, we need to clear the air. It can’t be sitting between us. We need to be able to focus on Henry. He is what matters.”
“I agree and it’s why we cannot have this discussion.”
“What do you think will happen if you tell me what you are angry about?”
Emma doesn’t answer but to Regina’s horror she is clearly blinking back tears.
“Emma. Please talk to me.”
“I can’t,” Emma whispers, “because then it will be over.”
“What will be over?”
“We will,” Emma says with a sob.
“I don’t understand,” Regina replies. Her eyes now match Emma’s but she refuses to let the tears fall.
“I can’t do this anymore.”
“But you love me. I know you do.” She can’t comprehend why any of this is happening.
“Oh course I do,” she places a kiss on Regina’s forehead, “and I always will but this has to end.”
“You’ve said that to me before,” Regina challenges.
“Yes I have,” Emma laughs hollowly, “if only I’d followed through at the time I could have spared as both so much pain.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“No,” Emma confesses, “I don’t. I wouldn’t take any of it back but that doesn’t change the fact that this has to end.”
“You don’t mean that. You can’t. You love me.”
“Love isn’t everything Regina.”
Emma’s words make no sense to her because love is the only thing. “I’m not good enough, am I?”
“It’s not like that Regina.”
“Really? Because that’s exactly what it feels like.”
“When we combined our magic you knew my thoughts, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” she almost spits, “but those thoughts where a lie. They said you loved me and wanted to be with me.”
“That wasn’t a lie.”
“Our current conversation would suggest that it was.”
“My thoughts should have told you something else. They should have told you the thing that I fear most.”
“I understand that you are terrified of being abandoned.”
“And there it is,” Emma says as though this explains everything.
“But Emma, I’m not leaving you. You are the one saying that you are going to leave me.”
“You don’t think that dying counts as leaving me?”
“That’s what this is about? I was trying to save you and Henry. It was the right thing to do.”
“But I would have lost you.”
“You would rather that you and Henry had died?”
“I would rather that our fates were all the same.”
“I will never apologise for trying to save the people I love.”
“I don’t expect you to but I need you to understand that I can’t be with someone whose solution to every problem is to sacrifice herself.”
She laughs then, because what else is she supposed to do. “When they had me, Greg told me that I wouldn’t get a happy ending because I’m a villain. I’ve been worried he was right. I’ve been worried that I was going to lose you but of all the reasons for someone to leave me I never thought it would be because I was too selfless.”
“I guess it does seem a little strange,” Emma offers her a small smile.
“That’s doesn’t help me feel any better.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Emma tells her.
“Then don’t do this.” It’s not a plea, because she will not plead, but it is a fact.
“If I thought I had a choice I wouldn’t.”
“Of course you have a choice.”
“And this is the choice that I have to make. Maybe it won’t have to be forever. Perhaps we will find a way back to one another.”
“So I’m just meant to wait around until you change your mind?”
“No. I would never ask that of you. You deserve better than that.”
“Well at least you got that part right Miss Swan.”
Emma goes from pale to ashen, “So I’m Miss Swan again, am I?”
“Well you’re not my Emma anymore, are you?”
“No. I guess not.” Emma has the decency to look sad but then she says, “You know, I thought this would go worse.”
“You are leaving me. I don’t see how it gets much worse than that.”
Emma looks at her with such affection that Regina wants to rip Emma’s face off. “I pictured yelling and screaming and whole lot of fireballs.”
“I can hardly do that on this ship now, can I?” she says through gritted teeth. The truth of the matter is that her fists are clenched to try and hold back the fire that is arching between her fingers but she is not about to let Emma know that. “If it will make you happy, once we reach dry land, I will take you somewhere secluded and beat you senseless.”
“That’s my girl.” Emma says with a sad smile.
“Not anymore.”
Emma doesn’t respond, she doesn’t even bother to look at her, she just closes her eyes and shakes her head. Then she turns around and returns to her chin ups. Regina knows when she is dismissed. She can’t say that she is a fan of it, she much prefers to be the one doing the dismissing, but she has enough pride not to stay when she is not wanted. No one wants her here, she realises as she climbs the ladder, and as soon they get to land she needs to put as much distance between herself and this band of morons as she possibly can.
Hook has apparently been tracking her movements because the moment she reappears he saunters across the deck. “Is Emma down there love?” he asks.
Clearly what has happened with Emma has upset her because she misses the golden opportunity to ask him where else he thinks Emma would be, they are on a fucking boat after all, instead she nods and tells him, “She’s all yours,” and she means it. He is welcome to Emma, they deserve one another.
Maybe Greg Mendell was wrong. Maybe it’s not as simple as he thought. Maybe some villains get their happy endings. She’s just not one of them.