GUESS WHAT BITCH GOT THE JOB?!

THIS BITCH!

Sooooooooooooooooo...

That thing about my cookies? And running off to Indiana? Right now I'm in Champaign-Urbana, on the way to Indianapolis for an interview to hopefully help the whole cookie thing along.

Luck! Wish it to me!

AND BERNARD I'M COMIN AFTER YOOOOOUUUUUU

IF I EVER BECAME A POLITICIAN, I WOULD MAKE IT MY LIFE'S WORK TO PASS A LAW REQUIRING A LICENSE TO WEAR CAPRIS. THESE WOULD REQUIRE COMPLETE LEG MEASUREMENTS, PLUS AND INTERVIEW TO PROVE YOU CAN HANDLE THIS IMMENSE RESPONSIBILITY.

DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT TWAT SHORTS.

ALSO, TALKING TO O0BISHIE0O, TALEYA AND AUNTIESAMN ABOUT ANIMU HAS MELTED MY BRAIN ( Read more... )

AND OF COURSE THE DAY I AM ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE HOUSE WITH NO HAIR PRODUCT, A FUCKING TV CREW SHOWS UP AT THE COFFEE SHOP AND STARTS FILMING ME AND AMI.

WHILE I'M LOOKING AT PORN.

AND TALKING TO TALEYA.

AND GOD MY HAIR.

BRB RITUAL SUICIDE.

I CAN'T STOP LISTENING TO KE$HA

HOW CAN I CONTINUE TO EXIST?

ALSO YESTERDAY I WAS ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT HAIR PRODUCT

I AM DEVOLVING AS A HUMAN BEING

HOLORDY

I'M REWATCHING THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA SO I CAN FILL MY OWN PROMPT

LIFE WHY DOTH THOU DO THIS TO ME?

ETA: YOU KNOW THE WORST PART OF THIS? THE ABSOLUTE SHIT KICKER?

I DON'T EVEN LIKE THIS MOVIE!

AS MUCH AS I DESPERATELY NEED THIS FIC, I CANNOT STAND THIS MOVIE!

AUGH!

HOW CAN I BE MARRIED TO A WOMAN WHO HASN'T SEEN THE WRATH OF KHAN?!

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN!

OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIII

I LOST ALL MY BOOKMARKS FOR THE KINKMEME

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

OK I'M JUST GONNA CURL UP HERE AND WEEP NOW

FUCK

FUCK

Big newses first!

MY WIFE ISN'T GETTING DEPORTED!She's a permanent resident, and gets to stay here so long as she behaves, which means no synchronised dancing knife fights at Pride. BOO ( Read more... )

I'M NOT DEAD! I PROMISE! JUST DETAINED BY REAL LIFE AND INDIANA, BUT I AM BACK IN ILLINOIS NOW!