I was about to write this depressing entry about how much I hate not talking to my ex-boyfriend...and how I feel like the walls are closing in on me...and how my skin feels electric. And then my doorbell rang. Trick-or-Treaters. A group of twelve year olds. This is how it went ( Read more... )

And now I know how you leave somebody you love. You walk. And when the door closes behind you you don't stop, or look back, or lean against it. You just keep walking. And when you start to cry, and you will start to cry, you let that be alright for the moment. You don't let it turn you, and send you running back into the house, into the brick ( Read more... )

I've often thought that people who grow up in broken families are worse off in relationships; they always seem to be waiting for the crisis, watching the door, holding their breath. They are people whose earliest experiences with love are of being left. I think some of them wonder, all of their lives, why that happens, why people go. It's a ( Read more... )

If anything, buying a house has taught me that it's miserable doing things on your own, and nobody expects it of you. Everyone involved in this process has asked for the second name on my mortgage, the second name on the utilities bills: and there is no second name. And it feels terrible in a way I can't quite describe ( Read more... )

Break ups, I feel, are aptly named because no matter how amicably you carry the thing off, there's always something of a broken feeling that cuts through the thickest swathing (numbness, assurance, decisiveness). I know that breaking up with the Salsero was the right thing to do. I feel lighter and less fraught. And yet, I also feel like ( Read more... )

I wonder if there are people who will never untangle themselves from my limbic system. I wonder if they plan on living there forever, holding hard (then heart), making it impossible for me to take a complete breath. I say this because there has been much resurrecting of ghosts lately. People who I tried, at one point, to physically brand on my ( Read more... )

Hello all ( Read more... )

So...lots of things going on lately. My housing search got interrupted by Fairfax County's fiscal reign of terror and so recently I've just been hoarding money and praying I don't get riffed. Teaching continues to go well, though over the peast few days I've felt more like Dr. Phil than anything else. I think teacher education should include a ( Read more... )

I have been a bottled butterfly.

(but last night I danced.)

I think that maybe, after all, there is such a thing as closure ( Read more... )