These are notes from the last book that I read--"Life's Journey's According to Mister Rogers" by Fred Rogers. (Mom said 'I know who Mister Rogers is, but *who* is Fred Rogers?'). I never liked his show because it was corny, but here are some things I'm choosing to remember ( Read more... )

All the formal dresses in the stores look like ostriches who wish to be disco balls.

My highschool prom is dress is perfect except my boobs won't fit inside of it.

The options are:

A. creative repair of dress
B. breast reduction
C. go to very conservative Virginia Military Institute Ball with boobs out
C: buy ugly dress.

Any ideas?

Kenric was my boss at Barnes and Noble. (The word "boss" is a very loose term). He's gone now and I will probably have a real "boss" in the near future so I'm going to tell you some things I already miss ( Read more... )

Last night I cried at Walmart because I saw a jar of kimchi ( Read more... )

My life is dedicated to passing the Series 7 exam, which is equivalent to the bar. I have to pass this exam to get a brokerage liscence so that I can be a financial planner ( Read more... )

That was the unexpected answer she gave me when I asked how her grandparents were fairing while living in a FEMA trailer. The house they lived in for over 50 years was destroyed along with all other wordly possessions, including cattle, cats, dogs, and a restraunt that was worth over 100,000 dollars. Yet, because they were together in that tiny ( Read more... )

The only reason that I ever worry about being mugged is that I'm embarrassed about the inside of my purse ( Read more... )

Trick or Treat ( Read more... )

I work in a coffee shop, so I have the priviledge of meeting weirdos. These are the words of my new favorite freak. A few are off color, so if you are reading from work, beware!!

Hi.

I would like a Starbucks Chocolate Banana Vivanno milk shake, except no milk please.

I don't like milk.

You can just put the banana and the chocolate in it and maybe ( Read more... )

Sometimes I worry that I am no longer creative...and then I go to sleep and dream that my dog poops and instead of a turd, a hairbrush comes out of his butt. Maybe it was a message from God in a roundable way saying that I still have something very unusual on the inside that needs to be let out. If so, God is truly mysterious.