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When I finally understood that "political parties" had nothing to do with cake and icecream and donkey and elephant rides, i didn't want to talk about them anymore.

I love valentinesday and I don't even have a valentine. Except my mom and my dad and my 80 year old neighbor. and that's good enough for me.

My dad called me up and sang me a song that he made up. It was about boogers. I hope I marry somebody just like my dad except not related to me.

So i've got this Cajin neighbor that grew up in the bayou. He's all telling me stories 'bout how his daddy's got one arm-- and how he built der house outta trees he found on da side of da interstate and sawed 'em all up with a handsaw with his *own* eight fingas in da middle of a hur'cane ( Read more... )

A story that begins with "so I met this boy on the internet" is always a cue that you're about to hear something stupid.

So I met this boy on the internet.  His name was Bryan and he's from Wisconsin and I told him to meet me at a big party and to bring his roommates.  Later that night, my phone rings and a number that i don't know comes up.  I ( Read more... )

I fell asleep trying to play "hotel california" on my guitar. I use my radio as an alarm clock, so it went off this morning. The dj was playing Hotel California backwards-listening to the words because it says "Satin is lord Satan Satan Satan 666 He's gonna take us to his toolshed and eat us for dinner" over and over. And it was all choppy and ( Read more... )

My biggest adversity in gradschool isn't hard classes or work. Its lonliness ( Read more... )

Through inadvertant positive reinforcement, we taught Charlie to burp, fart, and rub his little doggie penis on the carpet when people visit. He also went through my mother's closet, found *his* Christmas presents and unwrapped all of them. Santa was not pleased ( Read more... )

whew i just took a 5 million hour long exam. I know enough about fathering to be somebody's daddy. And then it rained and thundered so hard I thought the Apocolypse was coming ( Read more... )

My computer has started making its own decisions, sending messages to people on aim, downloading nasty images to my homepage.... I need to reformat before it gets up and starts walking around by itself. The bologne in my refrigerator is about to do the same...its been there for a while...growing arms and legs. I had to slam the meat drawer on its ( Read more... )