Well, I did a rash thing tonight.  It is that many things I do are rash.  Oh well.  I charged $223 on my credit card tonight for a ticket to Boulder.  I will flt there on a friday and leave saturday the week after... That is a whole week with no transporation, and no person I know except for Jordan.  I guess I want to see him.  I think about seeing ( Read more... )

I have a lot on my mind

My mood is weird since I came back from break. My relationships with people are weird, or changing.

Over the past couple of months I have had guilt about wasting things. On the cruise I ate beef three nights in a row. I don’t know, something has disgusted me. A cruise is the most wasteful place in the world. A constant ( Read more... )

I feel subject to other people often.  It seems like it is the only explanation to why my mood changes so drastically from day to day
I returned today from my spring break… that trip made me feel okay to be alive; it was such a good time. The boat is like another world where life is easy, happy, and subject to whatever whim I decide to go on.
Reality ( Read more... )

I woke up with the wind blowing through my little dress
I ate breakfast and smiled when I braided my hair into pig tails
My eyes started to squint and my face got hot
And I looked down at my notebook paper so many things terrible ran through my head
“What would your life be like if rape didn’t exist?”

I felt ten paces back
And I feel ten paces back ( Read more... )

I feel really lost inside
That seems really sad to say I think
I’m having a hard time with the status quo
Happy times are always fleeting
Like some kind of high
I always want to feel that little bit of high

I don’t know anything about my life
Can’t I always be he girl that knows everything?
And gets everything done
And takes care of everything

What if I’m ( Read more... )

I'm twenty two at the bar..

I'm twenty now as I sit at home.. and I listen to my bff and Matt talk about Iraq.. and islam

I check my phone and it is thomas, saying he loves me...
I do love him
When I htink about being happy and comfortable I think of him.
Iknow I can be as comfortabel with anyone else.. when I think about me and him, sleeping at night ( Read more... )

I'm going to write until I figure this out…

I have all of these half thoughts going through my head..

I feel kind of bad about some things, but I haven't thought about them long enough to understand them…

So I have these sneaking suspicions that there are things about me that aren't really… functional or normal.. or … in working order to sustain ( Read more... )

I guess young people get this feeling.. that they know everything.
I know I have felt that way before, esp in highschool when my mom tried to boss me around.
Maybe I didn't know everything, but I knew more than her.

Well I thought for the first time today that I might throw all of my make up away.
Since this thought entered my mind I have had a feeling ( Read more... )

January 19, 2007

What will happen if one of us enters into a monogamous relationship?

Would it be the same if I came to visit, and slept on the couch?

I'll write about this until I figure it out

Do you think it would be the same?

I have a strong friendship with you, that continues on the basis that we aren't close to each other…

I am in love with you. ( Read more... )

I think I have some sort of problem with sleeping.. I should have went to bed an hour ago, but I called you instead.  I think I will still get seven hours of sleep.
I have this problem.. that I have always had.  I have a fear of not sleeping.
I lay in bed, and as the time goes by that I am not able to sleep, I think about how many hours of sleep I ( Read more... )