I read an article about Dockers coming out with a line of pants that "promise to keep your legs stain-free using revolutionary nanotechnology." As it turns out, they were using the term in a rather misleading way meaning the pants don't actually utilize real nanotechnology to keep those annoying ketchup incidents from staining the crotch of your ( Read more... )

5. No, Professor! You fo shizzle my dizzle!
4. Screw foreign policy. The turkey's done.
3. Hello U.S. Government? I just accidently laundered some money.
2. I don't think these stain-resistant pants are working.
1. Hey, lady! It's not like I asked to be born with x-ray vision!

Getting away from my usual dumb one-liner or sketch posts, today I'll be writing about my experience at Trinity Fest, the July 4th Celebration that I wished would end all July 4th Celebrations. Oh where to begin ( Read more... )

I can't tell if this is funny or not. Opinions welcomed.

A Voice in the Night

INT. OFFICE -- AFTERNOON
A middle-aged BOSS sits as his desk talking to
his SECRETARY over the intercom.

BOSS
(into intercom)
Excuse me, nurse.

SECRETARY (O.S.)
Sir, I'm not a nurse. I'm your secretary.
( Read more... )

I'm trying to develop an unhealthy obsession for Claire Danes, but it just doesn't seem to be working. I must be doing something wrong.

So I was at my bowling class today and two people started mock arguing. It was at that point that I realized I'd really like to see a knife fight breakout. You just never see those any more.

Know what I hate?

When someone puts out a cigarette on your hand. Especially when
you're playing violin. That's got to be the WORST form of criticism.

Easter. What can I say? I love Easter. It's my favorite ( Read more... )

You can't argue with DeNiro. You can't argue with DeNiro.


( Read more... )

And now Random Facts from Dead Presidents...


( Read more... )