When you were here before
Couldnt look you in the eye
Youre just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
And I wish I was special
Youre so fuckin special

But Im a creep, Im a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I dont belong here.

I dont care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect ( Read more... )

if it all ended tomorrow...I would have so many regrets.

I truely mean that.

I wish this was as simple as a relapse...I could fix a relapse.

I've basically spent all of January in bed all day, the hospital, or the gym all night. I went off all my meds, stopped treatment, and essentially have become utterally useless. I'm not sure whatelse to say. I don't have energy to fix this right now, and I don't have energy to eat to keep myself strong enought fight. I'm just too cold to function.

( Read more... )

"It's a Long December and there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last, I can't remember all the times I try to tell myself to hold on to these moments as they past ( Read more... )

I haven't been able to sleep in days. Literally days. everytime the lights go out or things fall silent, I am in tears. I'm so scared of what could happen.

"I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing." Anais Nin

almost 8 months since it all went to hell. It just hit me...I think I might possibly be carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, and only a handful of people have fucking clue what I mean. aside from stating the painfully obvious, I might have to do just that come tomorrow ( Read more... )

12-8-05
(18.2)

12-8-06
(14.2)

I'm going to try and keep this updated. It's been rather hectic lately with life in general. Health is same...barely scrapping by. but hey, I'm alive. I was release from IP a year ago. now i'm in the same place I was before I went.

I just want to be part of the fucking human race already. I'm sick.

( Read more... )

It's been a painfully sad time, I haven't been able to sleep or really eat for weeks, neither of which I really can afford to deal with at the moment.

( Read more... )

It's been a year, give or take a few days, since I was spending my life in the hospital because I couldn't keep myself alive. Nothing has changed. nothing. Things were better, thigns were worse, things had changed and took on a new face. Nonetheless, nothing has changed. I feel like I understand less, feel less, want less, have less. The only thing ( Read more... )