So the friend who Im losing the friendship of, "un-sistered"me on Facebook today. Still hasnt talked to me about ANYTHING.
Bah. Over it. Had a cry and then went out. Went to a R&B club which I kind of didnt enjoy because I knew fuck all of the music. But there were hot brown boys who could dance, so it was worth it :)

So one thing I have realised, is that over the years, I have adapted or conformed to the people around me, and lost a little of myself along the way.
I had sooo much fun when I lived with Keir. When I lived in Auckland the first time, I had the music that I liked - lots of Foos and Lagwagon and stuff that awesome Renee got me into. When I lived with ( Read more... )

Hes not interested. Friends. Im mildly happy with friends. But its time to give up on him returning any feelings beyond that ( Read more... )

So theres a boy I like. He used to be friends with Keir, and we met a few times when he and I were flatting. And then we met a few times after, mostly just drunken hugs and the like. And I like him a ridiculous amount. Hes just sweet and lovely and attractive, and easy to talk to. So we talk on facebook lots lately. I told him I had a crush on him ( Read more... )

So feeling marginally better. Back in Auckland (I cant say "back home" because it doesnt feel right at all). Was nice to have a few days with Dad in Foxton. Psychologically more than anything I think. It was nice to have his companionship and to feel "at home" somewhere. I miss having my Dad close by. Hes actually the greatest Dad ever.

So no more ( Read more... )

So had a headache since Friday or Saturday. Makes me rather nauseous and feel like poos, and has been getting worse. Today I vomited and couldnt go to the zoo, so decided I better go to the doctor. She is worried it is benign (or idiopathic) intercranial hypertension, and has referred me to a neuro department to go get a CT scan and a lumbar ( Read more... )

That talking actually helps?

Had counselling today and she asked how I was doing. As much as I write stuff down, or type it out or whatever, because that is easiest for me, I actually felt a lot better this week after saying heaps of the stuff about my mum out loud. She kind of looked at me like, "well, duh", but not in a condascending or unkind way ( Read more... )

And then I partake in my Sunday mid-morning ritual, of watching the Home and Away omnibus, and I am so in love with Heath - one of the river boys. So hot and manly and rugged and just *sigh*. Heath is the one on the right. Hot. Love.


( Read more... )

I have the biggest crush on a girl on Americas Next Top Model. Her name is Azmarie, and she is androgynous. she confuses me, but mostly shes just sexy as hell


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So counselling yesterday wasn't as painful as I thought. I mean, it still sucked, but not so bad ( Read more... )