I was attempting to base tonight's logic - no, actually Spring Break 2015 logic - on my slight upgrade to the ridiculous YOLO fad- you're only YOUNG once ( Read more... )

It sucked that Noel really wasn't there for me when the whole debacle went down with Lis, but I let it slide bc her excuses seemed legit. Canceling on Pesach for being on the second day of her period... Even I have to listen to my mother when she says Noel's trying to send me a message ( Read more... )

I've been not wanting to update, for good reason besides love/work/living stagnation. Lis had been off and on abusive for the entirety of our relationship, or at least since I moved in with her in Philly. She had warnings. The last time she was physical I warned her I'd call the cops. Last week I did. She was arrested. Getting her assault charge ( Read more... )

Hate these nights of feeling like I'll never get over Noel, especially because A)she's unique in such a beautiful way and B) I'll never even attract a new kind of unique beauty to distract me... Ugh. These nights of wishing I were good enough for her.

Having bouts of depression and anxiety. I really don't belong in Trenton... It's too much of a mess. Nobody knows what they are doing, and they are wedded to their failing ways. So I really really hope I get in at Mullen some point soon for keeps ( Read more... )

Listening to Noel rhapsodize about a guy she met ( Read more... )

So Lis and I are back together bc I couldn't leave well enough alone.
And the song I've been hearing lately is about the singer being in love with this girl - but her not wanting to hear these things about destiny- just wanting him to live for the moment with her right then. "shut up and dance with me".

Noel.

I am alone... Gazing from my window to the streets below... I'm a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow...

Noel's been avoidant. Same thing as usual. dumbass me getting my hopes up. Shut it down, Juls.

Had a moment of weakness and appealed to Lis... Glad kinda that she shut me down.

And a rock feels no pain. And an island never cries.

Yeah, I forgot she gets clammy after being around someone too long. Asked her for a birthday drink... She declined. Doubt I'll see her for a while.
Sighhhhh. Cmon, angels. Help me out.

*splat ( Read more... )