im having a shitty really focked up day. yeah that i am. im talking to taylor although i didnt want to because id probably be acting like a bitch towards her (which i am) but she called. so yeah. i cant wait till caitlin keith and brandon go to quest. life will be better and happier! fock the world, fock quest, fock my friends(most of them atleast ( Read more... )

hi. wow i like havent written in forever. well lately taylor and i have been having *more* problems but thats no surprise. i went to her house yesterday. it was cool. i somewhat learned to play the drums*and i did really good and it was my first time ever*. yay. her dad played his giutar meanwhile and it sounded cool. he plays really good he can ( Read more... )

FOCKING KILL ME! WHAT THE FOCK IS WRONG WITH THAT KID! SHES DRIVING ME SO FOCKING CRAZY! WITH WHAT SHES DOING TO ME SHE MIGHT AS WELL KILL ME IT WOULD PROBABLY BE LESS PAINFUL! GOD I HATE THIS WHY IS THIS FOKCING HAPPENING TO ME!!!!!!WHY!? I HATE LIFE ITS SUCKS SO BAD!!! HOW CAN PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THIS!!! LIVING TO ME IS NOT A PRIVELEGE BUT MORE OF A ( Read more... )

i just ate. and im still hungry. taylor hasnt called yet. but so far im ok. i called kerrah. shes coming over like tomorrow. my parents are going to some party thing so ill be left here alone soon *tear*. thats such a bad idea. but my drowning thoughts are being put on hold atleast until sometimes later this week or maybe just until 8 tonight. * ( Read more... )

well things are somewhat ok. for tonight atleast. she just called awhile ago. i was tryin gto sleep and i just coudlnt and then the phone rang. she did good in calling. i feel slightly better now. she says that even though i told her not to call tomorrow she will anyways. i stumbled across her plan. "supposedly" shes gonna try and find away to meet ( Read more... )

Nobody gets it. the only person who brought me any grief is now gone. caitlin went home because her dad said she had too. nobody understands how im feeling right now. i cant stop shaking nor crying. i think im gonna try killing myself tomorrow. taylor expects me to keep waiting and when i dont want her to call me she does and when i do she doesnt ( Read more... )

Im listening to switchfoot right now. somehow its making me feel better. i now have a pretty little heart on my arm!its soo cutes! i wonder if she even bothered calling. probably not. im eating air heads yum. well yeah just you all know i love you all! im sying this because i dont know how much longer i have to live. i think my depression is gonna ( Read more... )

Right now im so focking close to killing myself. i hate it i hate taylor i hate this focking world! i just want to take a knife and stab myself over and over with it! and yes taylor i did cut myself! so you ccan focking get over it! theres nothing you can do about it! and stop pretending to fdocking care! if you did you wouldnt do this to me!and o ( Read more... )

wow i feel special. taylor knows *or she should* that i havent had a good last few days everything is driving me mad i think im gonna commit suicide. but yeah shes home for like hours and the thought of calling me to make me feel better doesnt even much cross her focking mind. she puts an effortr in, in saying nice shit to me. what the hell ( Read more... )

OK! HAPPY NEWS! ROBERT LIKES MONICA! OMC IM SO HAPPY FOR HER! MAYBE ONE DAY THEY'LL HAVE BABY ROBS AND MONIS! hehehe yay! IM HAPPY FOR HER! well now ive been writing in my other journal more then this one. well i talked to jana things are alright between us but now my problem is ashlie. were planning on meeting at the mall tomorrow. still no call ( Read more... )