The afternoon was drop-dead gorgeous, with a temperature of some 75° and the warming yellow yolk of a sun shining down upon our little contingent. Evie Takahashi and your loving narrator were hanging out on the dais of Westlake Plaza with Broadway Billy the Bum, Bart the Bagman, Ekaterina Spivakova (freshly divorced from the nefarious Bud Yoyo), ( Read more... )

Today signals the commencement of International Clitoris Awareness Week. In the spirit of this festive event, I urge you to be kind to your friendly neighborhood clitoris. As for me, I plan to positively worship Takahashi's clitoris, as it has given so much to me over the past four years.

The following verses represent my first attempt at haikus, I'm trying to investigate various forms of poetry for the purpose of expanding my skills in the realm of writing. I got the idea to do haikus from Evie-herself a very adept practitioner of the art-and she gave me a book called The Haiku Handbook to help me along. Anyway, here are my first ( Read more... )

OMG! Maker's Mark has reduced its alcohol content from 90° to 84°! What will my lady, Evie Takahashi, and I ever do? This is most likely an action undertaken by the FBI to punish us for our sins, which are plentiful. I guess it's time to switch to Jim Beam or Johnny Walker. Or maybe our favorite bartender at the Streamline Tavern can make a ( Read more... )

Any of you young 'uns ever wonder what passed for American culture in the 1980s? Ronald Reagan and Alf. that's what. Case closed.

Be most excellent to one another, my little superstars.

The Rat City Rollergirls are back in action ( Read more... )

Why is it that so many Australian actors and actresses are able to produce flawless American accents, yet almost no American performers can maintain a convincing Aussie accent for more than 30 seconds? This really bothers me for some damn reason.

Well, my little superstars, it seems that we-here in the State of Washington-have approved R74, the same-sex marriage referendum, and made marijuana legal. Not all of the precincts have chimed in yet, but the prospects are quite good. Once again, the über-liberal Washington State has apparently come down on the right side of history, led forward by ( Read more... )

Well, I bought my first ticket to a Rat City Rollergirls match, this one against the Rose City Rollergirls from Portland. Takahashi ain't too interested in roller derby, so she's going to make July 14th, the day of the bout, a girl's night out with her sister, Gracie, and several other folks of the female persuasion. But, I'm really excited. I used ( Read more... )

Well, yesterday your devoted narrator went to see the new movie Battleship, and just let me tell you one thing: It's a resounding stinker! Don't waste your hard-earned lucre on this heinous frittering away of more than $200,000,000. The writers and the director throw every fawkin' military cliché ever conceived at the audience, and the plot line is ( Read more... )