There's a farm down in the valley which my house overlooks. In the woods around the farm, there used to be a big old crumbling house - but it's not there any more because one night when I was about twelve I saw lights in the trees where the house was. I went for a walk up there maybe a few weeks later and the house was gone. No patch of soil where ( Read more... )

I am oddly vibrant and awake this morning ( Read more... )

Foxy and Daddy Foxy arguing about the smell of a new candle ( Read more... )

After a muggy and humid day, it's finally clouded over; the air is moist and there's even a light breeze. There are darker clouds hovering on the periphery of Dartmoor which this house overlooks. I think we're in for a lightshow soon. I can feel it in my colon ( Read more... )

I would remind you all that I don't watch football. But I do have the urge to take up my Dad on his suggestion that I run outside the house, up and down the street interrupting the now deathly silence with screams of "Waahaayyy Portugaaaal!"For the last two hours all I've heard from my neighbours has been "FOCKIN' 'AVE IT", "Miss, you Portugese ( Read more... )

Do you remember the French and Saunders sketch in which they were always sitting in a plain, white room making funny jokes about their fannies? Well that's how I feel right now. Except there's nothing even remotely amusing about having your home emptied, bedroom stripped naked and having to pack up your life into little boxes ( Read more... )

Under the cut, is a signed, sealed and posted letter from myself, to BT.
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Ingredients:

Three, four or five unequal tablespoons of flour
Three eggs
A large amount of caster sugar which, when poured, you discover has wevils living inside it
Milk, preferably not curdled just yet.

Directions:1. Either forget to turn on oven, or else pre-heat it to such a temperature as to melt any gold jewellery in the vicinity. Gather ( Read more... )

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