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dizzy dance
i am the very height of unoriginality, everything i've done has happened before, i should just stop really. running around grinning nervously at strangers or slumped over a railing staring into space, i wish i could fly away. i wish i didn't have to bother people, they don't want me to be anywhere near them. i wish things didn't have to bother me. ( Read more... ) -
meh
just got back from the hospital. not such a good day it turns out. -
sunny days
well i'm not feeling totally hopeless today. the sun is shining, which is always a plus ( Read more... ) -
bleeding through
disgust and anger, cycling through, screaming at the walls, smashing my fists and head against flat surfaces, my head hurts but i can't dislodge these feelings, even the music can't quite cover it up ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
besides the usual wash of unhappiness and anxiety, today i get a fun cycle of sadness, anger and disgust, at myself and others.
i hate people. -
'home'
i'm never quite sure if i like coming home or not. it doesn't really feel like home, i don't have a room, there's no trace of me here. and just sitting there lying to my parents telling them everything is ok. i don't know what to say to them. so obviously go the obvius route and do like i do for everyone else and smile and laugh about silly things ( Read more... ) -
nneedd to calm down
stoppepd walking round in circles or shaking in bed, cant look in the mirrors who do i talk to when everyones gone, cant think straight have to stay clam cant stay in this cage cant leave though its dark now the shadows will get me or the other one cant look in the mirroe its not me im sick cant move, cant stop im afraid why am i writing this when ( Read more... ) -
random
went to the rigger last night, was random fun. nobody there i knew when i got there, but people turned up, kain and alex appeared from nowhere, then i saw mel and paul, and met a bunch of people, who's names escape me. paul asked me about chris, which is odd, so long ago it seems, and nothing ever really happened with him. still, it's interesting ( Read more... ) -
i can climb mountains
hell is for heroes makes me happy :)
"I Can Climb Mountains"
Give me some kind of hope
Give me one honest lie to promote
And try to think better days when you choke
When blood for profit gain wins your vote
And you can fake smiles to make you feel
When its time to break the deal
Cos it's easy now, i'm easy now
And buy a new disease
When ( Read more... )