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grey day
today is grey. it's like all the colour has been rinsed out of the world. so bleak and subdued. all i can see is small points of colour. interesting ( Read more... ) -
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had a fun afternoon with liam and ross, hanging out in the pub, chatting shit, playing darts (i won :P ( Read more... ) -
i'm lost
i'm just sat in front of my pc, wondering what to do with myself.
really.
i got nothing.
i need to get a job, and just get on with things.
but i can't really bring myself to move... not really seeing the point.
i wish people were here, some company would be nice, but i don't want to spend an hour walking to ian's house.
oh well.
fail. -
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just come back from appointment at the bennett centre. an excrutiating hour and a half sat there trying to answer questions. i feel sick ( Read more... ) -
time for changes...
i feel somewhat numb. sat at ian's because i don't feel quite right in my house. people have said i'm not in the wrong, but i can't quite believe them, i can't help but feel guilty, but then i always feel guilty, i'm a little tired of it all. i feel like i've let her down, though i tried my best. i'm tired of playing carer to people, i don't want ( Read more... ) -
on the plus side
i realise my sore and irritable throat has calmed down, which leads me to believe that whatever was in there has left, or died, or whatever ( Read more... ) -
my drafty but well furnished cage
i'm rattling around the house all by myself, i don't like it when there's nobody in, who's supposed to keep an eye on me? am i supposed to do it myself ( Read more... ) -
she's gone
she's been admitted to hospital and i just don't know what to do with myself. i feel guilty, as always, like it's my fault. i'm sure i could have done more to help her, if only i knew what. i feel bad she is in hospital, but at least she is getting help. more selfishly, i feel bad because now there's nobody for me, i have no reason to pretend. i ( Read more... ) -
get out of me
not allowed, there's no time to panic, i can cut my throat another time. -
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coughing fits are not fun. especialy combined with hiccups.
i feel odd and i don't quite like it. still a successfull night out i suppose.