How many times do I have to say "I told you so". Don't they ever get tired of being wrong?

Holy Shit! DRUNK MONKEYS! A bunch of monkeys steal marijuana beer and flip the fuck out!

If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb ( Read more... )

It's that magical day of the year for stoners and, of course, I've been out of weed for a while. Today is no different so I'm a bit pissed. I mean, come on, not being able to find weed in Miami is like not being able to find fat people at Wal Mart but, here we are, not a flake to be found, not enough resin to get an ant high. So I guess I'll go ( Read more... )

1. Smoked? Tons of weed
2. Been Drunk as hell? Hells yeah, how else am I going to get the balls to sing Highway to Hell on Karaoke night?
3. Screwed someone of the opposite sex? Not lately
4. Screwed someone of the same sex? Nah, boys are icky.
5. Shoplifted? Yeah, but it was an Abby Hoffman book so it's ok. He told me to do it.
6. Lied? Ya ( Read more... )

Hey, I guess they must've voted for the Pope on Diebold machines because apparently he's really really conservative. Apparently he was in the Nazi youth corps. Altho the story is from the New York Post so It may all be bullshit. I'll keep looking. Oh, and Sunday is "Justice Sunday", yay! No, it isn't the latest direct-to-video Steven Segal ( Read more... )

Lately my fish, Grover, hadn't been eating or swimming around too much. He'd just sit there in his little cave staring at me while I slept. Maybe he was sick, or maybe he was harbouring some deep seated resentment. He does need a bigger tank... Anyway I'd hoped a total change of water would make him happy but that just seemed to piss him off ( Read more... )

Every time I begin to have some faith in humanity I turn on E! and that it just goes away.

Yesterday I was at Taco Bell with Ben, just having lunch and talking about what we were planning for the evening. Towards the end of our meal a homeless guy walked to the door right next to us, got on his knees and proceeded to laugh maniacally for about two minutes straight while staring dead at me. I thought it was weird but didn't say anything ( Read more... )

Investigations into the Lewinsky scandal and Whitewater -------------- $40,000,000 ( Read more... )