I'm tired of being second rate. Nights like these make me feel so worthless. I just want it all to end

It's 3:45 and I need an outlet, so here it is. My mind got ahead of me this week. I started thinking it was about to be friday, so in my head I started being ready to go home and recharge. It's about to be thursday and I have a peer critique today at 6. My prof wants me to put up my five prints for this assignment(of which one is ready, but it ( Read more... )

Ok, these pesky emotion things keep popping up and I can only fight them back so fast. It's starting to piss me off and I'm feeling like I might give in. I'm just so tired of this shit. I'm tired of love, it's fucking exhausting and I never come out on top. And you can't go half hearted, you're either all in or you fold. I've been folding a lot. ( Read more... )

For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne
We'll take a cup of kindness yet
For the sake of auld lang syne

I wish I could go back to some of those times and have a toast or two with my past.

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I think it's time for some glue and duct tape and maybe some buckles, whatever it takes to hold the metaphysics together.

I'm having one of those days where I just feel everything come crashing down on me. Though this is one of the worst I've had. I'm just so tired and so frustrated by everything. Over the past several years there've been four ideas that are the most important to my life, they're: love, peace, passion, and faith. I come to school to explore my ( Read more... )

This weekend was an interesting haze of tequila and bullshitting around near school. Shawn, Scott and I had our first really serious talk about living together; which is really something I need to make sure works out 'cause it means Scott will being going back to school. Though I don't want to live down there over the summer, or at least not this ( Read more... )

This year, for the first time ever, I think I'm going to have a birthday party(of my own making). I have no idea where yet, maybe my aunt will let me use the shore house in avalon.... I'd love that. But also for the first time ever I want all, or as close to all as I can get, of the people I really care about in one place at one bloody time. And ( Read more... )

I hurt myself today ( Read more... )

I find myself disinclined to work towards little treasures in life when I know that everything fades away.