Ah, those Tooks. They're always ones for running off into the Wild and having Adventures.

I find that this Took hasn't quite aged out of the habit yet. I've got one more grand adventure left in me, descendants, and now I'm off to it.

My boy, you are now the Thain of the Shire. No doubt you'll do a better job at it than your absentee father ( Read more... )

Lord Elrohir, your PENIS appears to be for the most part irrelevant. Almost, one might say, insignificant. I certainly don't perceive it as a threat. So if you want to go around adding towns and municipalities to it like you add those slightly sticky Hermoine Granger doubles to your Harry Potter Topps Series card album, feel free to do so. But ( Read more... )

*pulls a large brass key from his pocket and unlocks the twenty-foot-high round red door of the Great Smials in Tuckborough*

*pulls the dust-sheet from his favorite armchair and settles in*

*loads shotgun*