(Untitled)

[gerontiustook]

*pulls a large brass key from his pocket and unlocks the twenty-foot-high round red door of the Great Smials in Tuckborough*

*pulls the dust-sheet from his favorite armchair and settles in*

*loads shotgun*

Comments

[rubygamgee]

*acks and sneaks out the back*

[gerontiustook]

-.0

I see you.

[rubygamgee]

EEEK

I DIDN'T TAKE ANYTHING DON'T SHOOT ME AND MOUNT ME ON YOUR WALLS!

Oooh. You have nice glasses. *slips silverware back into drawers* 'm Ruby. Who're you?

[gerontiustook]

I'm The Took. Capital T, capital T. And you have a nice doo-rag, young lady.

*looks over his glasses at you*

Do you like chocolate biscuits?

Oh, fuck!

[peregrin_took]

I didn't think that Denefucker dude was serious! Shit, fuck, you're out!!!

I'LL NEVER FUCKING BE THAIN NOW!!!

*slumps*

I'll be in Rivendell.

((Welcome!! Don't mind Pip, he's in a foul mood))

Re: Oh, fuck!

[gerontiustook]

Being Thain is not as much fun as you might think, my boy. It's mostly nothing but paperwork and being whined at by other people who want to be Thain.

*thinks for a moment*

You can be the Lord Grand Vizier of Tuckland if you like. And official sole-source pipeweed supplier to the Shire. How's that sound?

[mirabellatook]

Hello, Daddy! Nice to see you being Thainish again.

Any additions you'd like added to Great Smials, just ask.

[gerontiustook]

Ah! The cleverest of my beautiful daughters.

*kisses your forehead*

I've been hoping to see you, Mirabella, my dear.

[mirabellatook]

*smiles*

Yes?

[gerontiustook]

My understanding is that the Shire has become a bit disorganized. Not properly policed, overrun with interlopers who threaten hobbits, annexed by Rohan and giant penises and whatnot, set afire, squashed by the Moon, etcetera, etcetera.

Well, not on this Thain's watch. If they come on Tooks' land, then Tooks hunt 'em.

*begins filling pocket with shotgun shells*

So to your mind, my dear, who needs killing?