Because we all could use snails playing polkas.

My age is perfect! (Mathematically speaking, anyway.) Let's hope that my year follows suit.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Dear uterus,

This isn't your scheduled time of pain. Why are you hurting?

No love,
Me.

Don't forget to check your smoke detector and carbon monoxide detector every month. If you, like me, haven't been doing so regularly, today would be the perfect day to fix that. :)

Today one of my customers came back a little while after making her purchase, and gave me a tip in the form of a Macy's gift card she'd bought for me. It made my day so much brighter.

A summary of the first half of Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 1, in which Polonius is speaking with Reynaldo, who's basically a sort of butler for him.

Polonius: Okay, I want you to check up on my son and make sure he's not up to anything. So meet with his acquaintances and say you know a bit about him, and make up some slander to see if any of it's true. ( Read more... )

The Christmas music started today at the mall. Actually, it may have started yesterday, but I didn't work then. I am coping with irritating songs by thinking, "At least it's not 'Last Christmas (I Gave You My Heart).'" Sadly, this strategy falls down when they play "Last Christmas."

Things I am not a fan of:
* Shaving my legs
* Bleeding
* The sting of shaving cream in an open cut
* More bleeding

Someday I hope I will have the confidence to go out with fuzzy legs while wearing a skirt. Today was apparently not that day.

My triumphs may be small, but they are real and they are mine.

Today, I learned that if you ignore the cucumber slices in a plastic bag in your fridge for a month, they develop multiple, small, perfectly round, black spots! It actually looked kind of neat, but not exactly what I wanted to see.

(Trying this at home is not recommended.)