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[ghostupon]

contrary to what this entry used to say, i just realized something huge. an anonymous noter and myself helped myself realize it. haha, that was confusing. but anyway, i have .2 seconds to write this before i have to go to work so i will say what i want to say quick. instead of being down on myself all the time, i just need a hobby. for a long time

Comments

[anonymous]

i do know how you feel though. it's like a security blanket when you have special people in your life to love you but when the lights go out for a minute and those people aren't there anymore, in a way, you're not really there anymore either. but just give it a second, open your eyes and let them adjust to the light and you'll realize they were never gone at all. you just couldn't see them.

i like you. i always did. i probably always will. and i doubt i'm the only person that feels this way. you're a hard person to dislike.

this entry makes me really sad. i'd love to try and be there for you and give you the helping hand of a stranger but i don't know how. maybe that's my fault. i really don't know.

[casino_steel]

why do you hate mattodea for no reason?

[wapa]

no reason?

[ghostupon]

i just love how word gets around about these things. i don't hate him, because i can't really HATE people, i just hate what he did to me. i'm a big part of it too, a really big part, so i also hate myself for it. it is a big deal to me when i give my virginity away to somebody who lied to me for it. that is one of the biggest regrets of my life and i was and still am very hurt by it. i can't respect somebody who treats others like objects. not just me, but past girlfriends and also christy. he's a wonderful person otherwise, and that's what attracted me to him in the first place. now he's fucking one of my friends and it makes me physically sick to think about that. do you see my reason?

[casino_steel]

you willingly had sex with him, so its just enough your fault as it is his. you knew he had a girlfriend when you willingly had sex with him. you werent hallucinating, tripping on acid, or any of that hippy shit. and how did matt lie to you? you had sex with him TWICE and you knew what was goin on both times. and how did he lie to you. also, i have heard many times that you have said that you hated mattodea.

hmmmm

[gotta_be_77]

i dont dislike you or anything i just never really felt that you liked me so i stoped talking to you cause i dono but anyway i think your kindof selfish or self centerd or something like that. im not trying to be mean im just trying to be honest wich sometimes is being mean but whatever if you would wanna be friends again and talk im here id id like to go back to that one hippies house again with you or something

[wapa]

i still like you

oh shannon...

[missing_desert]

these are the years when we are All searching for our identities. i know that i, myself, dont exactly know who i am, what my opinions are, or the kind of person i WAnt to be. some people go through their entire lives not knowing who they really are. I know that God will reveal it to me soon enough. however, right now i feel real far away from God and that is probably why i feel crappy a lot of the time. i know He's what i need but i just...cant. you should come to ctr sometime Real Soon! just to remember...how good it is to feel His love. but..hmmm...i go there twice a week and still... well maybe it will help you. worth a try.

well shannon, i think you are a very cool person. i dont know your complete situation so i dont think my remarks on the other topics would mean much. but im definitely here to listen, if thats what you need. you can call me and we can go somewhere and talk, if you ever feel like it. 788-6642
-anna

Re: oh shannon...

[ghostupon]

i'm glad somebody else can feel the way i do... because seriously, sometimes i think i'm completely alone. completely. it's the worst feeling in the world. it's nice to know i'm not the only one with an identity crisis once in a while... everybody usually goes through it, except mine has just stuck with me for a loooong time. it's like a constant cloud hanging over your head for a couple of years with every step that you take. you look up and it's always there. i hate that damn cloud. haha.

but anyway, we must get together or something out of mr. malin's peepee class. it's been fun getting to know someone new. i'm always here, too, if you want to talk. i'm interested in what other people think and such, so never feel like you can't talk to me or i won't care. i really do. 428-7979 is what you should call for a good time.

have a wonderful christmas.

Re: oh shannon...

[missing_desert]

umm i just read through this whole thing... and tony you need to back the fuck off seriously. The shit you said was just down right mean dude.

-jason bitch!-

Re: oh shannon...

[missing_desert]

OH, and i forgot....umm... shit i was gonna say... errrr yep thats right.. you heard it -jaaason-