i am facing one of the biggest changes i'll ever have to face. graduating. something i'm unprepared and unwilling to do. something that affects my life monumentally. now, there's an entirely new "change" to throw in as well. the love of my life, my fucking soulmate & roommate & partner in crime, doesn't love me anymore. how am i supposed to handle ( Read more... )

last night definitely did not go as i had planned. i feel like i'm in eighth grade again. i feel so awkward around him; i don't know how to act or what to say. it takes every ounce of energy to restrain myself from putting my head on his shoulder or holding his hand or even making fucking eye connection. how stupid does that sound? someone i've ( Read more... )

( st. patty's pics! )

( photo survey!! )

i can't help but feel worthless. the one person who knows me better than i even know myself looks at me with no feeling. he barely looks at me at all. the one person who gave me confidence in all i have to offer, has now shown me that i ultimately have nothing to offer. or at least, nothing to offer that anyone with half a brain would want ( Read more... )

how am i supposed to survive the next few months, living with someone who just doesn't want me anymore? how am i supposed to give him the time and space he needs to stop "resenting" me for hurting him in the first place? how am i supposed to breathe, move, live, knowing that only one-third of him still loves me? how am i supposed to handle sleeping ( Read more... )

"not to be sentimental...but why the hell are we conditioned into the smooth strawberry-and-cream Mother-Goose world, Alice-in-Wonderland fable, only to be broken on the wheel as we grow older and become aware of ourselves as individuals with a dull responsibility in life ( Read more... )

i've seen the sunrise more times in these past few days than i have in my entire life combined. went bar hopping on monday with doug, timmy, and his cousin austin. started at beerbellies, had a few beers at the tally ho, swung around the corner to macgrady's, and finished back at beerbellies. we were THISCLOSE to going to a strip club afterward, ( Read more... )

spring break makes me sad. all my friends are going to beautiful, warm places. matty's on his way to florida, matt's leaving for LA, kate's going to miami, and countless others are going to cancun and on cruises. but i guess i would be even sadder if i wasn't going to my second home ( Read more... )

i would just like to extend yet another thank you to all of my friends. i definitely don't deserve a bunch like you. i am in another good mood today. christopher, thank you so much. for everything. i wuv you!!~ aaaaand extra happy points because ocean city is just two days away! i am beyond excited, whether it snows again this year or not (but so ( Read more... )