stomach, i hate you
hate like the kind you couldn't know
for somthing that wasn't attached to you
you haunt me now, 
like a fear in my bowls, my depths,
my inter most part,
so much more real than that over done heart,
the bile, the miasma
and other forgotten causes,
i wish them real so i would have another excuse for the way i feel,
some reason to go to the ( Read more... )

the roits seem like a world away to me now. and i really think that's bad. i remember when they were happening i was in tenth grade i think, maybe ninth grade. it's funny what i've seen since then and really not even thought about the city in that way. it's easy for white kids in the suburbs like myself to forget about it. like i didnt forget about ( Read more... )

a better dream

it always seems so clear to me
that she is never where she wants to be
and i'm left always wondering
where does that ever leave me
it's not the kind of lust you tally on your wall
but it's not the kind of love in which you fall

give me a reason
give me a reason
give me a reason to stay,
give me a reason
give me reason
jsut one reason to stay

and ( Read more... )

first part of the summer besides bonnaroo. still waiting for those pics from my cuz (that's right, you) but this camara was suppsoed to go to bonnaroo with me but i forgot it so it got some randomness in the summertime. tree pose! wish you could see what i was standing on, it was high up ha.


( Read more... )

boats of old men
that float on calm lakes
or in the small flows
that disrupt alittle along the rocks in thier waves,
they are picking thier bait
perfect casts under the under hanging tress
into the dark pools,
were the big ones must be

record catches
recorded and then passed
out to be challenged by other old men fishing away thier past,
i have one of these ( Read more... )

my piano teacher is here tuning my piano. that seems to me like such a romantic job and i also figured out how fuckin easy it is ha. i could do it. once i have some more experince with piano i'm def going to really learn how to somehow and start doing it. i mean, if i had alittle fifteen doller tuner, which i do, and one of those hammer looking ( Read more... )

trying to update this thing alot this summer, i realized that i probally will lose track of this journal after this next school year. tight and not tight ( Read more... )

my teeth are clean!

piano lesson tommrow!

hung out with cousin tonight!

i fucking miss sean ha. i miss him like he's my girlfreind for real. its just usaully, im bored and i think, im goign to go doing something. and then i call him and he picks up like lets do something. im like 'what' and he's like, im on my way over. and then he picks me up and ( Read more... )

eh, im in a bad mood, not bad mood, but my back hurts enoug hthat deep breathes shot pai nand my head is aching and light headed and im dirty as fuck and hot........but i mean, it's not that bad. just makes me not want to deal with any of it. works was long two nightsa in a row. really late tonight since i jsut got home. i might have pushed myself ( Read more... )

just signed up for piano lessons. every thursday at 2. tight! and i got a dentist apointment on wedsday. those suck but im happy to do it no since they make my teeth white as hell and my time to be on my parents amzing insurence is running out so if i have anything wrong getting it fixed now is sooo good......and i told sean before, i look at a ( Read more... )