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(Untitled)
These inner things need a balance. Understand that. If death comes tomorrow, there is a distinct lack of meaning and an overflow of wasted potential. This is the mortality identity crisis; what these fools go through, at which we roll our eyes. No more rolling. It's time to pray ( Read more... ) -
nothing nothing motherfucking nothing
the death of michael jackson is like eating something undeniably disgusting that has a delicious aftertaste -
body of leaves
Today finds me distracted. Thoughts about parts of myself that are deep and dark, barely touched or known. Prepared to start shining the light on these parts, and scared. In and out of this fear of changing. I was so comfortable for so long. That "comfortable" girl is familiar. Now inching toward an edge, not breathing deep enough or seeing wide ( Read more... ) -
Epitaph
For those in the dark, I'm gone. I've moved on. Bakersfield now only holds me by gossamer threads that connect me to people I love. I'm back in the land of salty air, palm sparkly blue skies and illicit drugs. I really didn't think I would ever come back here, and here I am. I plan to float on top of the sea of people who are all so full of good ( Read more... ) -
rome disco liz 1976 high school canada
I get this tingly feeling. Maybe it's what people mean when they say "butterflies in the stomach". It always seems to start in the center of my pelvis and radiate down my legs, making them stiff and shaky. Then my mouth starts to taste metallic and my jaw starts to clench. Eventually my gut feels like it's on a very low boil. It happens when I ( Read more... ) -
My Shaggy Dog
My brain is bent. Exactly a year ago tomorrow I made a livejournal post about emptying out. I remember as I prepared for my trip to Europe, and as I prepared to receive a large sum of money I was starting to self destruct. But I really felt like I should... for some reason. I didn't know the reason and I didn't push to know. I trusted my instincts ( Read more... ) -
payrate playmate
Apparently the house I grew up in was demolished by the fires in Montecito. It's Thanksgiving tomorrow and I feel so lost. I've done badly this year. There's not much point in regretting it. It was easy to be numb for so long. It only got easier. Now everything is hard. And cold. Not much point in pity. If I don't start setting goals to get my life ( Read more... ) -
devoid
to be perfectly honest... yes. i do miss myself. it's like i dug myself so deep into this hole, and somewhere along the way i lost something really important. emerging is a struggle. there's no knowing what to do, or how to feel. there's not as much feeling at all. the last thing i want to throw is a pity party. my strength is like a wrench thrown ( Read more... ) -
anticipatory
Yes, it's four-fourty-five (approx.) my time, but my time is no time at all. Some might say it's the time in Kings Cross London. That means almost nine in the PM for you people. To me, it simply means...holy fucking hell... I need to be awake and ready to walk to the Underground station in three hours to get to the airport to catch my fucking ( Read more... ) -
it can't be that hard
happen to me
it's not that hard