You fit into me.
Like a hook in an eye.
A fish hook. An open eye.

Quite the splendid love poem, isn't it? It reeks of failed marriage, angry exes, and sadistic/masochistic significant others. Not my cup of coffee, but what can I say, it's got a nice ring to it. It's kind of disconcerting, though, when the creepy landlord on the floor above you leaves ( Read more... )

Hey there. I'll be gone for a couple days. It appears that I wasn't doing as well as I thought I was, and found myself in the hospital. The door to the apartment should be unlocked, so go right ahead and move on in. Help yourself to food, there is plenty, and I should be home in a couple days to give you a small tour.

Could you keep your eye on the ( Read more... )

 It's been four days since I've gotten any slee
I've counted so many sheep over the last few days. I think they've started materializing on my living room floor
4 days, six hours, and thirty two minutes.
Oh shit.

Help.

[Private to Neil]

Would you happen to know any Tale psychologists?

Is there anyone who can help with my dre

Would you like to go out for a cup of coffee?
[End]

[Private to Eleanor]

I haven't heard from you lately.  Are you still thinking about moving in? If you are, just let me know.

I'm currently experiencing dog issues. I've brought one ( Read more... )

[Private to Librarians]

I'm not meaning to sound morbid, but do any of you know the specifics of the dead cat and co.?
Though it has been a few days since the incident, it has been brought to my attention by one of my veterinary assistants that several of our feline patients have gone missing.

This may have nothing to do with the problem, but I need ( Read more... )

Why is all my coffee gone?

[Added several minutes later for good measure]

And before anyone decides to get snippy and sarcastic, I didn't drink it all. I just bought grounds yesterday.

[Backdated around 5:00 pm]

[Several failed attempts]

I know this is a bit...unusual... but could you check your mail for me? In the last few weeks mine has been misplaced in several of the other tenant's piles, and I've asked all of them but they don't have today's. Both my paycheck and monthly bills are suppose to be coming in...today...and the ( Read more... )

Would you happen to have a free night any time soon?

I need someone to help me rearrange some stuff. I'll supply dinner...

On Friday I had agreed to look at one of the Vet assistant's child's school pet, it wasn't eating. The trip brought me to a preschool just outside of Brooklyn. Of course, with my luck I arrived at story time and the students were listening to Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

What are the odds of that happening?

That's not the end of it. When is it ( Read more... )

[Now Private against Rose]

"We live in cheap an twisted times.
Our leaders are low-rent Fascists and our laws are a tangle of mockeries. Recent polls indicate that the only people who feel optimistic about the future are first-year law students who expect to get rich by haggling over the ruins... and they are ( Read more... )